


Move On Me

by Indefensible2017



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-09-16 19:43:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9287087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indefensible2017/pseuds/Indefensible2017
Summary: Set shortly after 'Prioritise the Heart' but is canon divergent. Bernie opens up to Serena about Alex, unable to find the strength to tell Marcus she wants a divorce. Serena tries to support her friend, but realises her feelings for Bernie run much deeper than she ever anticipated.





	1. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

Serena let a sigh escape her body. She and Bernie had just spent the last three hours in theatre - a complication in their planned procedure had meant it had taken much longer than both women had expected.

She leant back into her chair and looked across at her blonde colleague. Bernie looked as though she was a million miles away, staring blankly at her computer screen.

"Bernie?"

No response.

Serena got up from her chair and went around the desk to sit on the edge of Bernie's desk. "Bernie?"

The movement seemed to bring Bernie back from her thoughts. "Sorry." She closed down her computer and turned her attention to Serena.

"You've been like for this for days. Is there something on your mind, Bern?"

Bernie gave a small shrug.

Serena frowned and got up from the desk to slide her coat on. "I haven't seen you eat all day, you're coming home with me for dinner." She'd never invited Bernie to her home before but she couldn't bear the idea of eating for the umpteenth time at Albie's and she couldn't leave her friend in such an obvious state of angst.

Bernie seemed to silently consider Serena's proposal for a second, before a small smile rose on her lips. "Dinner would be nice."

* * *

Serena had lost count of the amount of times Bernie had offered to help with dinner. 'Just sit there and drink your wine' she'd repeated on more than one occasion, slightly exasperated with her fidgety colleague. She wanted Bernie to relax, not be chopping up vegetables or worrying about if the pasta was cooked or not. She successfully managed to pull together a spaghetti bolognese without Bernie's involvement and took a seat opposite Bernie at the large oak table in the kitchen. "Bon appetit." She smiled.

With Jason out for the evening with friends, Serena realised how little time she spent with Bernie completely alone, even in their office they were constantly being bothered by their colleagues. She was surprised at how nervous she had been having Bernie in her house. She'd managed to trip over a few sentences whilst they'd spoken over their meal, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks as she'd done so. Serena almost never got flustered - she could perform a near-impossible operation in total calmness but one look from Berenice Wolfe and she was a mess.

"Thank you for this." Bernie smiled, taking a sip of her wine.

"Thank you for taking me up on my invitation. I never have anyone to visit. It's normally just Jason and I."

"No Robbie?"

"Robbie and I aren't seeing each other… it became a little complicated for him with Jason around." It had been a month since Robbie had changed his mind about moving in with her. He couldn't cope with the idea of living with Jason, though he hadn't even had the decency to tell her properly - 'I'll call you' was not the reaction she had expected from a grown man who had claimed to be in love with her. She was surprised Bernie had noticed.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Bernie reached across the table and gently ran her fingers across the back of Serena's hand. The feeling sent a tingle across Serena's skin and she moved to take Bernie's empty plate, piling it on top of hers and heading over to the sink.

Serena's feelings for Bernie were something she had never experienced before. She hadn't particularly liked the army medic when they had started working together but they'd so quickly become good friends and over the last few months Serena's feelings had deepened into something intense but yet totally indescribable. Bernie was a mystery - a beautiful, talented mystery that Serena yearned to solve.

"Was it something I said?" Bernie asked.

Serena felt herself blush in Bernie's obvious reference to her movement away from the table at her touch. "No. Can I interest you in another glass of wine in the living room?" She asked, hopeful that Bernie would agree.

The blonde gave a smile in response that made Serena's heart flutter.

* * *

Serena's living room was a mess of Jason's magazines and her collection of paperbacks she'd promised herself she'd find the time to read and never had. A flat screen TV was sat into the corner, angled into the middle of the room where a leather 2-seater sofa and armchair were placed, an oak coffee table sat in the middle of it all.

Serena placed a bottle and two glasses on the table and flicked on a lamp in the corner to cast a soft glow across the room. They both took a seat on the sofa, Serena immediately realising quite how small her sofa was when two people both sat there. Her thigh pressed against Bernie's but neither of them moved away.

Bernie reached out to pour the wine but hissed sharply, flinching at her movement.

"What's wrong?"

"Sleeping on the bloody sofa…my back is in agony" Bernie grimaced.

"Why are you sleeping on the sofa?" Serena placed her hand on Bernie's back, rubbing it gently through Bernie's black cotton shirt.

Bernie paused, closing her eyes. "Marcus and I had an argument a few days ago. He said I'm not the same person he married, he doesn't want to share a bed with me anymore. I can't say I blame him."

Serena felt her whole body fill with concern and empathy. Her marriage had been unbearable just before the divorce, she hated to think of Bernie going through anything similar. "What happened?"

"He knows I had an affair when I was in the army…" Bernie's voice was quiet and quivered as she spoke but her gaze remained focused on the floor like she was unable to meet Serena's eye.

Serena was taken aback by Bernie's confession. She never expected Bernie to be the type to cheat. She remembered how difficult she had taken the news of Edward's affair, she still hated him for it. She felt like a hypocrite to be so forgiving of Bernie.

"I haven't told him, but I can tell he knows, I can feel it when he looks at me." Her voice was so full of pain and frustration. "When she came to Holby to see me, we ended up kissing... but she said my decision to leave the army had already destroyed what we had. It turns out the IED did more damage to my heart than it did to my back."

"She?" Serena felt a rush of heat across her body at Bernie speaking about being with another woman. A heat that reached every finger and every toe and right down into the depths of her belly.

Bernie nodded, not meeting Serena's gaze.

"Oh, Bernie." She reached out and took her colleague's hand. "You need to tell Marcus. You can't trap yourself in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, even if your affair is over."

The blonde looked up at Serena with tears in her eyes. "I'm not sure I'm brave enough… I can't bear to lose my kids, I feel like I've only just got them back. They'll hate me. "

Serena wrapped her arms around her tightly. She'd never seen Bernie cry before, had always regarded her as the big macho army medic, the stronger out of the two of them in the all ways it was possible to be strong. "I'm here for you." She shushed.

She heard a sob escape Bernie's lips and held her tightly as she cried. They stayed like that, wrapped in each other's arms for what felt like an eternity until eventually Bernie's tears subsided and her breath calmed. She pulled away from Serena's embrace, wiping her cheeks with the palms of her hands. "I should go." her voice was almost a whisper.

It was at that moment Serena heard Jason slide his key into the front door and he came into the living room, a smile on his face. "Hello Aunty Serena, Dr Bernie."

"Did you have a good night, Jason?" Serena asked, feeling Bernie leave her side, rising to her feet from the sofa. She missed the feeling of their contact immediately.

"I did thank you. Have you been crying Dr Bernie?"

"No, no." Bernie assured him with a small smile. "I should be going, it's late."

Serena walked with Bernie to the front door. "Can I call you a cab? Or drive you home?"

Bernie shook her head, pulling her coat on. "It's not far, I think I'll walk, clear my head."

"Will you text me when you're home and let me know you're safe?"

"I'm not a child, Serena." Bernie replied, although it was tinged with lightheartedness.

"I know… I just... care about you." Serena replied, her words carrying more meaning than she had anticipated, stripping Bernie of her playful expression. The air suddenly felt heavy and full of tension. Serena couldn't tear her eyes away from Bernie's. The blonde's expression was both unreadable and utterly enticing. Eventually Serena broke their gaze, clearing her throat uncomfortably as she pulled the front door open for Bernie.

"I'll text you." Bernie promised, slipping out into the night.

* * *

An hour later Serena's phone vibrated on her bedside table. She had tried to sleep but was finding it impossible, her body tense with the intangible emotions surrounding her friendship with Bernie. Bernie's confession was still fresh in her mind, having raised numerous questions within Serena that she now seem plagued by.

She grabbed the phone and unlocked it to see Bernie's message:

_I just got home. Thank you for this evening. B x_

She smiled, too tired to try and compose something in response but glad Bernie had text her like she'd said she would. She lay back down and thought of Bernie sleeping on the sofa with her back pain. She would have to fix that tomorrow.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm absolutely overwhelmed by all the reviews and kudos so far, thanks so much :)

**Chapter Two**

Serena came into her office that morning to find a hot cup of coffee on her desk. Bernie was sat behind her computer opposite, she looked tired. Serena wondered if she’d been to sleep at all last night.

“Morning.” Serena took a seat in her chair, “Thanks for coffee.”

“You’re welcome.” Bernie smiled at her but it was a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“I was thinking--” Serena was interrupted by Fletch bursting into the office.

“Need you.” He looked directly at Serena and she groaned, having just summoned the courage to ask to Bernie the question she’d been turning over in her mind all night. She left the office and followed Fletch out to a patient that needed an emergency consult.

* * *

 

Serena barely saw Bernie for the rest of the day. They were both rushed off her feet with an incoming group of people who had been involved in a multi-vehicle traffic collision. Their paths only crossed once they both needed to be in theatre to perform surgery on the driver of one of the vehicles.

“I wanted to ask you earlier…” Serena trailed off to carefully cut around the patient’s spleen. She looked up at Bernie to make sure she was listening - she was, her eyes catching Serena’s to hold her gaze.

Serena realised that the operating theatre was not a good place to gauge Bernie’s reaction to her question, with only her eyes visible, but she’d started so she would have to finish. “Your current sleeping situation isn’t doing your back any good at all. It doesn’t make the least bit of sense when you can just sleep at my house, for a few nights at least or until your back feels better.” She knew was blathering, this wasn’t the carefully crafted question she’d practiced in her head.

“Serena…”

“Only if it would help of course.”

“Where would I sleep?”

“In my bed.” Serena’s response was so blunt that she surprised herself, her scalpel fell from her hand, the instrument clattering loudly as it hit the metal operating bed and hit the stone floor. One of the theatre team quickly passed her a new sterile one and she cleared her throat, focusing back on the patient. “I would sleep on the sofa of course.”

“I couldn’t impose on you like that.”

Serena felt the sink of disappointment inside her body. “It honestly would be no bother, Miss Wolfe, but of course it’s completely up to you.”

There was a moment’s silence between the two women as they finished the surgery, having removed the patient’s spleen and ensured there were no other internal injuries.

“Are you sure?” Bernie asked as they left the room, removing their blue gowns and scrub caps.

“Yes.”

“And Jason?” Bernie ran her fingers through her hair, her curls settling gently around her shoulders.  

“He said it’s fine.” Serena had asked Jason on their way into work this morning. She had been unsure as to what his thoughts would be on possibly having a visitor for the next few days but was thankful he had taken the idea very well.

Bernie grinned. “Then yes, please, that would be great.”

“Splendid.” Serena did her best not to display the soar of happiness that spread through her body. She smiled gently at her blonde colleague as they wandered down the corridor back to their office.

“Can I come over later this evening? I need to get some things from my house after work.”

“Whenever suits.”

Bernie reached out, stopping them both in their tracks in the empty corridor. “Thank you Serena.” Her fingers slid down Serena’s forearm softly, leaving a trail of goosebumps on Serena’s bare skin that she seemed completely aware of.

“What are friends for?” Serena smiled.

* * *

 

It was 9pm before Serena heard the doorbell ring, she placed her wine glass down on the coffee table and headed into the hallway to open the front door. Bernie stood there, wrapped in her coat with a rucksack slung on her shoulder.

“Come in, it’s freezing.” Serena opened the door wider and Bernie entered the house.

Bernie hung her coat up on the hooks on the wall nearby and placed the rucksack down on the floor.

"We’re just watching one of Jason’s quiz shows.” Serena smiled at Bernie as she pushed open the living room door, “Glass of wine?”

“Please.”

“Good evening, Dr Bernie.” Jason greeted Bernie as she entered the room.

“Hi Jason,” she smiled at him warmly, “how are you doing?”

“Quite well thank you but I can’t speak any more right now as Mastermind is on.” He replied before focusing his attention back on the television,

The two women sat down on the sofa together, Bernie slipping off her trainers and tucking her feet underneath her, her knees resting against Serena’s thigh. Serena passed her a glass of wine and leant back against the leather sofa, sipping at her own glass. She was glad they had the television to focus on as she was sure if she turned to look at Bernie their faces would be mere inches apart. She both thanked and damned her sofa purchasing decisions.

They stayed in the same position for the entire programme, until the clock chimed 10pm and Jason bid them both goodnight and disappeared off upstairs.

“Shall I show you the bedroom?” Serena asked, placing her empty wine glass down on the table. She’d tried to make her question sound as nonchalant as possible but she cringed inwardly at the suggestion her words were laced with. She knew she was blushing and quickly rose from the sofa without a word from Bernie, leaving the living room.

She heard Bernie’s footsteps behind her, grabbing her rucksack and following Serena up the stairs, past Jason’s room to a door at the end of the corridor.

“There’s an en-suite in the corner, help yourself to toiletries and towels and such like,” Serena flicked on the bedroom light and motioned to a door in the corner of the room. Her bedroom was decorated in deep red wallpaper, long black curtains hung at the window, the king size taking up most of the space in the room. “I’ll be driving Jason to work at 7am tomorrow if you want to get a ride with us.”

Bernie sat down on the bed, “Serena, I can’t even begin to thank you enough for this.”

“Don’t be silly. Just get some sleep, hmm?”

A yawn escaped Bernie’s lips as she nodded.

“See you in the morning.” Serena closed the bedroom door behind her. She changed into her pyjamas in the bathroom and headed downstairs to settle down for her first night on the sofa.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this so far. the comments and kudos make me want to keep writing!

**Chapter Three**

Serena awoke that morning to hear the sound of the kettle boiling. The clock on the mantlepiece read 6am and she groaned at the idea of having to get up for work. She sat up from the sofa a little to see Bernie come into the living room, mugs of coffee in hand. She was already fully dressed in a white shirt and denim jeans, her hair wet from the shower.  

“Good morning.” Bernie passed her one of the mugs and took a seat in the nearby armchair.

Serena could only offer a half hearted grunt in response, still groggy from sleep. She sat up properly, shifting her legs so that her feet settled on the ground beneath her. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Best sleep I’ve had in months. Your bed is extremely comfortable.” Bernie smiled. Serena noted that she looked much brighter than the previous day. “Did you sleep alright?”

Serena nodded, although she could feel her neck and shoulders were stiff. She sipped her coffee, noticing Bernie glance over her sleep-ruffled hair, make-up free face and silk black pyjama shirt and trousers. Serena could feel heat rise in her cheeks that she looked such a mess in front of her. She wasn’t sure even Robbie had seen her like this.

“Do you mind if I make myself some toast?”

“No, not at all. I should get a shower.” Serena excused herself from the living room, taking her coffee with her in the hope she’d be able to multitask dressing and consuming enough caffeine to properly wake herself up.

* * *

 

Work that day seemed to drag for Serena. She had been stuck in the office almost all day, fighting against a pile of ever increasing paperwork. Bernie had either been in theatre or on the ward and their paths had only crossed briefly at lunchtime when she had popped into the office to bring Serena a coffee.

A long, tired groan left Serena’s lips as she finished what she hoped would be her last task of the day. It was gone 7pm and Jason had already got the bus home instead of waiting, saying he would sort his own dinner out and leave Bernie and Serena to do their own thing. Serena felt so proud of Jason, he had come on leaps and bounds since he had moved in with her. She hoped he might even be able to take on a more senior role in the hospital at some point.

Her thoughts were broken by the sound of the office door opening, in walking a very tired Bernie.

She slumped down in the chair next to Serena’s desk, closing her eyes as her head hit the back of the wall. “Someone bring me a glass of wine, or better yet, a bottle.” She sighed.

“I happen to know a place that serves a very good Shiraz…” Serena grinned.

“That sounds wonderful.”

“Get your coat then, Major.” Serena rose from her seat.

* * *

 

Albie’s was busy but they found a small table in a corner away from the bustle. Bernie insisted she was paying and bought a bottle of Serena’s favourite Shiraz. She took a seat opposite the brunette, pouring them both large glasses of the red liquid.

Conversation flowed between the two women as they discussed their work that day, performance of the people in their team and department budgets. Serena couldn’t think of anyone better to lead AAU with - Bernie was sharp minded, fair and the most experienced surgeon she had ever worked with.

It was when Bernie returned to the table with their second bottle of wine that Serena found the courage to change the subject to matters closer to heart.“Did you tell Marcus where you were staying?”

“I said I was staying with a friend for a little while. He didn’t ask anything and neither did the kids. I think they’re so used to me disappearing on tour that it doesn’t make much difference if I’m there or not anymore.” Bernie topped Serena’s glass up with their new bottle.

“I’m sure that’s not the case, Bern.”

Bernie took a large sip of her wine. “I always had it in my head when I got married that I would be a perfect wife. Always there for my kids, and for my husband. Not some lesbian screw-up, lying to her family about who she really is.”

Serena reached out instinctively, taking hold of Bernie’s hand and squeezing it gently. She had no words to help her colleague, she couldn’t fix this for her and she hated that she was so powerless. Bernie squeezed her hand back and their fingers laced together.

The feeling of their hands entwined made Serena’s heart skip a beat. She looked up at Bernie, both terrified and eager to read the blonde’s reaction to their contact.

Bernie’s deep brown eyes were so full of warmth it took Serena's breath away. She couldn't remember the last time someone had looked at her with so much trust and… something else. Something else that sent warmth across her body and down into her body, curling itself tightly in her lower stomach and making her feel weak.

She pulled her hand away from Bernie's. “It’s awfully hot in here, isn’t it?” She didn’t wait for Bernie’s reply, getting up from her seat and leaving the pub, desperate for fresh air.

Her legs felt like jelly as she walked back to the hospital. She felt intoxicated, and not from the Shiraz. She wanted to surrender herself to whatever hold Bernie had on her. She wondered if Bernie had any idea about confusion and angst she had caused. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Serena tried to wipe the thoughts from her mind.

“Serena…” Bernie appeared by her side, breathing a little heavy from having jogged over from the pub.

“I had to get some air. Sorry.” She looked up at her to see only kindness in her eyes.

“We’ve both had a bit much too drink to drive your car home. Shall we get a taxi?”

Serena nodded and watched as Bernie hailed a taxi that had just pulled into the hospital car park to drop someone off. She was grateful Bernie hadn’t asked her any questions about her swift exit from the pub.

Once home, Bernie disappeared straight to bed and Serena lay on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. The mental image of Bernie asleep in her bed seemed to taunt her, she imagined slipping her arms around Bernie’s waist, pressing her body against Bernie’s as they slept.

She closed her eyes and her mind filled with the image of her fingers slipping under Bernie’s t-shirt, feeling her taut stomach and then further down…

“Jesus Christ, Serena Campbell. What have you got yourself into?” She whispered to herself.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone! I'm so sorry this has taken much longer to write than I anticipated, I re-wrote most of it twice... I warn you it's a pretty fluffy chapter but it's important in relation to the chapters that come after. Hope you like it x

**Chapter Four**

Serena figured she must have ended up sleeping an hour or two at most last night. She'd spent the night debating what to do about her feelings for Bernie. Trying to express her feelings to Bernie seemed out of the question and would quite probably result in ruining their friendship and working relationship, maybe even destroying the ward they worked so hard for. She couldn't allow for either of them to have to deal with that.

She had come to the conclusion that the only option was to keep quiet and hope her feelings dissipated. She'd had crushes before that had gone away over time although granted they weren't over someone she spent all day around and was living with (albeit temporarily), and they certainly hadn’t been over a woman before. 

Serena sipped her coffee, sat at the kitchen table. She’d slipped into her room just after 5am to use the shower and grab some clean clothes, thankfully without waking Bernie, and was now surrounded with overdue admin work from the hospital.

“Morning.” 

Serena looked up to see Bernie stood by the kettle. She was dressed in a pair of black cotton shorts and white tank top, her hair disheveled from sleep. Serena couldn't help but take in her long, toned legs and arms, her frame still defined and muscular from her time in the army. “Morning.” 

“You look tired. Everything okay?” Bernie asked, concerned.

“Yes, fine.” Serena lied.

Bernie didn’t look convinced but let the subject go. “So, I was thinking… would you mind if I cooked you and Jason dinner tonight?” 

The question was so unexpected that Serena stopped drinking her coffee mid-sip.

“If you’re both busy then that’s fine… I just want to say thank you for letting me stay...” She trailed off, looking nervous. 

“You should ask Jason when he’s awake but that sounds great.” It warmed Serena’s heart that Bernie would think to involve Jason. 

The grin that spread across Bernie’s lips made Serena smile just as much. 

 

* * *

 

“Jason, are you up to anything tonight?” Bernie asked, half-turned in the front passenger seat of Serena’s car, looking at Jason as he sat in the back. Serena was driving them to work through the mayhem of morning rush hour traffic. 

“QI is on at 9pm but otherwise I have no plans.” He shrugged “Why do you ask, Dr Bernie?”

“Will you be home at 7pm to have dinner with Serena and I?”

“Who’s cooking?”

“I am.”

“What are you making?” Jason asked.

“Whatever you like.” Bernie replied. 

“I really like beef wellington. Aunty Serena never makes it as she says it’s too difficult but it’s one of my favourites.”

Serena felt a twinge of guilt that Jason had chosen something quite complex. She knew Bernie wasn’t a confident chef, having once confided in Serena she had survived off of packet noodles and chocolate bars for two weeks when she’d been come home from tour early to find Marcus and the kids had gone on holiday. Serena wanted to suggest that maybe she cook instead, or they went to a restaurant, but before she could speak Bernie had already agreed to beef wellington.

* * *

 

Bernie left work two hours before Serena and Jason that evening, Serena’s house keys in hand so she could let herself in and begin cooking.

Serena couldn't remember the last time anyone had cooked for her, let alone asking Jason to be there and cooking his favourite meal. Bernie was the first person to recognise that Serena and Jason were a family and that meant more to her than anything. 

“Does Dr Bernie live with us now?” Jason asked as she was driving them both home. 

“No. She’s just staying with us for a while.” 

“Why?”

“She’s having a sort of break away from living at her house for a bit, to see if she wants to live somewhere new.” Serena struggled to explain without telling Jason the details of the situation. She knew Bernie was fragile and didn’t want Jason to be asking her too much over dinner.

“What’s wrong with her current house?”

“Sometimes people just need a change.” Serena replied, a response that seemed to satisfy Jason’s curiosity over Bernie’s living situation. 

They pulled into the driveway and headed into the house. The smell of dinner hit Serena’s senses, it smelt amazing. She made her way into the kitchen, the sound of clattering pots and pans growing louder as she approached.

Bernie was stood by the oven, Serena’s bright pink apron tied around her waist, her hair in a messy ponytail and her cheeks flushed. She looked flustered.

“Everything okay?” Serena asked from the doorway, afraid to get under Bernie’s feet.

Bernie turned around fully to face Serena, wooden spoon in hand. “15 minutes for dinner okay?” 

Serena nodded. “It smells amazing.”

“I’m making no guarantees on how it tastes. Will you uncork the wine so it can breathe for a bit?” She motioned with her spoon over to a bottle of Shiraz on the countertop.

“You didn’t need to buy wine.” Serena felt like her insides were melting with joy over the effort Bernie had gone to. She uncorked the wine and set it back on the counter.

“I can’t sleep in your bed  _ and _ drink all your wine, Serena.” Bernie went back to stirring the many saucepans that sat on top of the stove. 

“Is there anything else I can do?” She asked.

“No. Just go and relax.” Bernie shooed her out of the kitchen. 

15 minutes later, Jason, Serena and Bernie were sat at the table, plates stacked high with beef wellington, vegetables and gravy. 

“This looks delicious, Bern.” Serena smiled, pouring herself and Bernie a glass of wine each. 

Bernie shrugged, “It’s the least I could do.”

As they ate they shared stories about people in the hospital, Jason’s observational skills were impeccable and he always had an interesting story to tell about someone he’d seen that day. Eventually Bernie and Jason ended up in an animated discussion about wildlife conservation, Jason having recently re-watched Planet Earth and eager to find out more about the animals Bernie had seen whilst she’d been on tour. Serena stayed happily silent throughout, listening to the conversation unfold as she finished her meal. Bernie had apologised several times for the state of her cooking but Serena was impressed, even Jason had refrained from giving it a score out of ten, something he normally did for anything Serena cooked him (although she was glad to say they were mostly 8 and 9 scores). 

Soon enough it was 9pm and Jason disappeared off into the living room to watch QI. Bernie had told Serena to join him but Serena was adamant there was no way she was going to leave Bernie with all the washing up to do. After some debate Bernie had insisted she would be the one to wash up but gave in to let Serena dry the pots and pans and put them away.

“You didn't have to do this.” Serena said, stood at the sink next to Bernie, tea towel in hand as she dried a dinner plate. “I know Jason is hard work--”

“Serena,” Bernie interjected, “I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.”

Serena felt herself blushing, Bernie's words making her pulse quicken. She couldn't think of anywhere she would rather be either. Being next to Bernie, even washing dishes together, seemed perfect.  

“And Jason is great. I really owe you, and him, for letting me stay. I can’t begin to explain how much of a help it’s been to have time away from Marcus to think.” 

“Have you been thinking about what to tell him?” Serena asked. 

Bernie nodded. “I’m going to speak to him next week. I don’t think he needs to know about Alex but he needs to know how I feel. I need to be honest with him about our marriage.”

Serena reached out, giving Bernie’s arm a reassuring squeeze.

As they finished tidying the kitchen, conversation turned to nonsense television programmes, the weather, and how Serena was sure Pulses had a new, lesser quality pastry provider. Jason poked his head around the door just after 10pm to announce he was going to bed, and soon after Serena and Bernie moved into the living room to finish their wine.

There was something utterly serene about just sitting in front of the television with Bernie next to her. They shared a comfortable silence as the TV flickered with stories Serena couldn’t even begin to care about - what could be better than was right here? She could feel the warmth of Bernie’s body next to her, her tummy full of food and wine, and her eyelids growing heavier by the minute. Eventually Serena felt herself give in to the gentle draw of sleep. 


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one this evening, will try and post more on Saturday. Thanks for reading so far :)

**Chapter Five**

Serena awoke the next morning to feel the warmth of Bernie’s body alongside hers. She opened her eyes to see sunlight pouring into the room through a crack in the living room curtains, lighting enough of the room for her to see Bernie laid next to her.

They lay opposite one another, their faces inches apart. Serena could feel Bernie’s warm breath on her skin, their breaths synchronized. She took a second to take in the details of Bernie’s rosy lips, high cheekbones and sun-kissed hair that messily covered part over her forehead. Bernie Wolfe was undoubtedly the most beautiful woman she’d ever laid eyes on.   

Bernie’s arms were wrapped tightly around Serena’s hips, pulling her closer and trapping Serena’s arms beneath them. Serena could feel Bernie’s muscular back against her hands. She could feel their breasts pressed against each other, and despite the fact they were both fully dressed, it made her heart rate soar as she became conscious of the contact.

She couldn’t move her head enough without stirring Bernie to see how their bodies met below the waist, but she was sure she could feel the pressing of Bernie’s thigh between her legs, and her thigh reciprocating the contact too. She wondered how glorious it would feel to be in this position without their clothes on and felt herself blushing furiously at the thought.

The situation felt like angst-ridden perfection and Serena knew it would end the moment Bernie awoke, although she clung to the minuscule hope that Bernie would kiss her when she opened her eyes.

“Bernie...” she whispered, knowing they would have to go to work sooner or later. The daylight outside suggested they were probably already late.

Bernie stirred, her eyes still closed as she shifted slightly. Serena suddenly became very sure of Bernie’s thigh between her legs, moving against her with such a glorious pressure that she had to bite her tongue to avoid moaning out loud.

Bernie’s eyes fluttered open and for the smallest moment Serena was sure she saw a flash of desire before alarm took over her expression and she bolted from her position next to Serena, getting to her feet. Within seconds Bernie out of the room, the sound of her feet on the stairs making Serena’s heart drop with the reality of the situation.

Falling asleep on the sofa had been a terrible mistake, Serena detested herself for allowing it to happen. She wondered if this was something that would hang over her and Bernie’s friendship, and working relationship, forever. Unable to bear the anxiety of waiting to see what Bernie would say or do when she came back downstairs, Serena grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

‘ _Bernie, I had to go to work, sorry. See you there’_

She stuck it to the front door with blu-tack before grabbing her car keys and leaving the house.

* * *

 

Serena had arrived at work 30 minutes late to a few confused stares - she was never late. She’d showered at the hospital, thankful for a clean change of clothes in her locker, and spent all morning on the ward dealing with new incoming patients. It wasn’t until she stopped for lunch and headed into the office that she saw Bernie’s open and badly packed rucksack - full of her clothes from her stay at Serena’s.

Bernie sat at her computer. She looked like she was about to burst into tears.

“Is this your bag from my house?’ Serena asked, confused.

“I thought it was probably best for me to go back to my house. My back is much better now.” Bernie looked up from her computer but did not meet Serena’s gaze, instead her attention focused on Serena’s shoulder for a second before looking back at her screen.

“Oh. Right.” So many things raced through Serena’s mind:

_It wasn’t my fault you fell asleep on the sofa too_

_You can’t blame me for something we did when we were asleep_

_Surely our friendship is more important to you than this_

But with Bernie now completely ignoring her, Serena left the office in silence.

The idea of eating now seemed utterly unappetising and Serena bought herself a coffee before going to sit outside on one of the benches opposite the hospital. She felt as though she should apologise to Bernie but was still confused as to how Bernie had ended up asleep next to her on the sofa. Surely Bernie could have left her there and gone to bed? Remembering the sensation of Bernie's thigh pressing against her sent a shiver across her body and she bit her lip, closing her eyes as she fought with both wanting to wipe the memory from her mind and preserve it forever. 

“I’ve been looking for you.”

Serena opened her eyes to see Hanssen stood next to the bench. He sat down next to her.

“What do I owe the pleasure?” she asked, her voice laced with subtle sarcasm.

“I’ve noticed AAU has been quite busy lately.”

“We are running one of Holby’s busiest wards with half the staff we should, but this is the NHS.”

“I have a proposal for you… and for Miss Wolfe actually… but I wanted to run it by you first.”

Serena raised her eyebrows, sipping her coffee. “Go on.”

“I have Marcus Dunn coming to work with us for a few weeks to help out on AAU. Winter is coming and we know how busy it gets around this time of year. It should help to ease things for you and Miss Wolfe.”

“Are you joking?” Serena spluttered.

“No. That would be a rather odd thing to joke about, wouldn’t it?” Hanssen frowned, confused.

Serena took in a breath, trying to compose herself. Another surgeon on the ward would help massively. But why him? Why did it have to be _him_? “Thank you Henrik. We’d be very lucky to have his help on the ward."

Hanssen nodded, smiling. “Good. I’ll finalise the arrangements with St James’ and keep in you in the loop.” He got to his feet. “Would you mind telling Miss Wolfe? Maybe the good news will cheer her up. She looked quite upset this morning about something.”  
  
“Yes, of course.” The idea of raising this with Bernie filled Serena with dread.

What an awful mess this day was turning out to be.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do love your reviews, thank you!

**Chapter Six**

As Serena headed back to AAU she felt herself getting nervous. She should have told Hanssen to handle this himself, it seemed as though it was his idea to get Marcus involved in AAU in the first place. Having to broach such a delicate subject with Bernie when they had barely spoken all day was going to be uncomfortable.

 _‘Just spit it out for god’s sake’_ Serena thought to herself as she closed the office door behind her. She was surprised to see Jason sat in her office, in her chair, and Bernie nowhere in sight.

“Jason.” she smiled, “What are you doing here?” She took a seat on one of the chairs near the door.

“I came to ask you and Dr Bernie what time you're getting home tonight. There’s a football match on television I thought we could all watch. It kicks off at 8pm. Will you be home?”

“Bernie won’t be staying at our house any longer, Jason, she’s decided to go back to her house.”

“Is this because you were asleep together on the sofa last night? I saw you both before I went to work. I don’t understand why you were both on the sofa when you have a bed upstairs. Is there something wrong with your bed?”

“There’s nothing wrong with my bed. We… I….” Serena couldn’t find the words to explain the situation to Jason. It all seemed so complicated.

They shared a moment’s silence before Jason asked, “Aunty Serena, is Dr Bernie your girlfriend?”

“No, she’s not my girlfriend.” She felt awkward to be having this conversation when Bernie could walk in any second, but she somehow felt relief at finally being able to vocalise her thoughts. She was thankful to have someone so caring and non judgemental as Jason.

“Do you want her to be?”

“Yes.” 

“Then why don’t you ask her?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Why?”

“Well, what if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

Jason looked confused, like she had just asked what 2 + 2 was. “It's really quite obvious, Aunty Serena. She's always looking at you, she laughs at your awful jokes, and she told me the sun lights up when you walk into the room. ”

“She what?” Serena asked, in disbelief. She'd never heard Bernie speak about anyone like that before. Surely Jason must have got the wrong end of the stick. 

“That's what she said when she and I were having breakfast yesterday morning. It doesn't sound scientifically plausible, does it?" he paused, "So if you ask her will she come and watch the football with us?”

“I don’t think so. We had a bit of a falling out.”

“Maybe if you actually told her how you feel rather than hoping she will be able to read your mind then you wouldn’t have fallen out.” Jason shrugged. 

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the red phone ringing outside the office. She watched, through the glass, as Bernie answered it. Their eyes fixated on each other until Bernie mouthed ‘need you’, and Serena knew they had work to do.

 

* * *

 

“Male, 42, involved in a hit and run. Lost around 2 pints of blood on the way here. Extensive internal injuries,” Bernie informed Serena as they scrubbed in. “We should also be prepared to amputate below the left knee.”

Serena nodded as they both entered theatre.

The surgery was intense and they worked in quiet synchronicity, neither woman doubting the other’s abilities or judgement. They quickly repaired his lacerated kidney before moving down to focus on the patient’s leg injuries.

“That’s the tricky bit done.” Bernie smiled through her mask at Serena.

Serena returned the smile, although the atmosphere between them was still a little tense, and as she remembered Hanssen's conversation earlier, she was sure it was about to become tenser. “I spoke to Henrik Hanssen earlier.”

“What about?” Bernie asked.

“Marcus Dunn is coming to work on AAU over Christmas to help ease the rush.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Hanssen said we need another pair of hands, and we do, we both work ridiculous hours to keep on top of things at the best of times…” Serena trailed off as she realised she sounded as though she agreed with the decision, which was far from the truth.

“Left leg tib and fib are completely shattered,” Bernie changed the subject briefly, “We should amputate.”

Serena nodded. “Injuries to the right leg looks less severe. We’ll x-ray it after surgery to be sure, it’s not life-threatening either way.”

“You think Marcus working with us is a good idea?’ Bernie asked.

“I got the impression it's not something we have much say over.”

“You should know it'll make things difficult for me.”

“Oh, I'm sorry," Serena snapped, feeling herself become annoyed at Bernie's attitude. The news had only seemed to be create further damage to their friendship after this morning's awkward start. "Did you want me to share the details of your private life with Henrik Hanssen?” 

Bernie fell silent. Her forehead furrowed with annoyance as she began the amputation.

“He should be here in the next couple of days.” Serena added, hoping that would be the end of the conversation and they could go back to discussing the surgery at hand. 

“Can’t wait.” Bernie’s voice was thick with sarcasm.

“It's not like I'm thrilled either.” Serena muttered. 

“Why?” Bernie asked, her attention focused on the surgery.

Serena didn’t reply, having not intended to share her displeasure at the news with Bernie, but in typical Serena-style her heart piped up before her mind could stop her.  

A few minutes passed before Bernie spoke again, this time she met Serena’s eyes. “Why do you care if Marcus is here?”

‘ _Because I can't bear to see him with you’_ The truth hung on Serena’s lips. She struggled to find a response that didn’t reveal her feelings, despite Jason’s advice to be honest with Bernie. “Just...forget it. Let’s finish the surgery.”

 

 

* * *

 

Serena sighed, it was already 7:45pm and she was going to miss watching the football match with Jason. She was nowhere near leaving the hospital yet, now stuck answering an endless amount of emails that had arrived in her inbox during the surgery.

The sound of the office door opening broke Serena from her typing. She looked up from her screen as Bernie came and took a seat on the edge of her desk.

“It’s late, are you not on your way out?” Bernie asked, her voice much softer than when they'd been in theatre together. 

“Too much to do.”

“Serena, I’m sorry about earlier. I know it’s not your fault Marcus is going to be working here for a bit. I shouldn’t have expected you to tell Hanssen about my marriage. Marcus is a very good surgeon and we do need the help. I know AAU needs him. I'll find a way to make it work with him here.”

Bernie’s apology surprised Serena and filled her relief that their friendship seemed to be healing. “I would never involve Hanssen in anything like that... our rela--... what we tell each other… it’s not any of his business.” Serena fell over her own words, going back to her emails in the hope of saving some of her dignity.

“Can we talk?” Bernie asked, her voice filled with nerves. Serena noticed Bernie was anxiously messing with a bit of paper she'd found on the desk. It wasn't like Bernie to get nervous, even when she was performing near impossible operations she always kept her cool. 

“I thought that’s what we were doing now.” 

“Not about Marcus. Serena, I want to talk about what happened this morning.”

“This morning?” Serena’s heart beat in her chest like a bomb that was about to explode. Her attention now well and truly focused on the intense, brown eyes of Bernie Wolfe. What kind of conversation did Bernie want to have with her?

“Can we go somewhere more private?”

Serena nodded.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you folks <3 thanks so much.

**Chapter Seven**

Serena led Bernie to an examination room down the corridor from AAU. She knew it was rarely used due to its small size and distance away from the ward, hopefully it would provide some privacy to allow them to talk.

They were silent until they reached the room and Serena closed the door behind them. “What’s this about?” She asked, preparing herself for a ‘I know you have feelings for me but I don’t feel the same way’ conversation.

Bernie closed her eyes, running a slightly shaking hand through her hair before she finally spoke. “I… um…I’ve been thinking about how to say this all day and now I’ve got you here and I can’t find the words.”

The tension between them was palpable. Serena could hear her own shallow breathing, her heart beating loudly in her ears as her blood pumped around her body at speed. She felt as though she were standing on a precipice and Bernie could push her off at any second. 

“Were you upset this morning? When you woke up and saw me next to you?” Bernie asked, her eyes darting around the room, unable to meet Serena’s gaze. 

Serena wanted to protect herself, give a vague answer and brush off the question, save her heart from it’s possible impending suffering, but she remembered Jason’s words to her earlier - maybe it was time to stop hoping Bernie could read her mind and actually say how she felt. “Bernie, I wasn’t upset. You would have seen that if you hadn’t run away the second you woke up. You would have seen how I felt.” 

“I was scared.”

“Why?” Serena knew this was the crunch point. Whatever Bernie said now was going to shape their friendship forever. Serena felt as though her heart as on the verge of shattering as Bernie looked at her with trepidation. 

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you, Serena.” Bernie’s voice shook but her eyes finally met with Serena’s. “I feel things for you. that… that I’m not sure you’d want me to.” 

Adrenaline filled Serena’s body at Bernie’s words. Her heart rate through the roof and desire shooting through her veins. 

Enough being scared. 

Enough holding back. 

She stepped forward so they were barely inches apart from one another and trailed her fingers down the side of Bernie’s face.The only thing on earth she wanted right now was to feel Bernie’s lips against hers. She slid her fingers into Bernie’s golden hair, pulling her into a searing kiss.

She could feel herself shaking as she captured Bernie’s lips with her. The softness of their lips together surprised her. Kissing a woman felt so different to any kiss she had had before. It felt sublime to be kissing Bernie Wolfe. 

She felt Bernie’s tongue meet hers and push inside her mouth. A moan reverberated in Serena’s throat and Bernie pushed her back a pace, up against the wall of the room. Her body melded against Bernie’s as they kiss intensified, hands clinging to each other clothes, pulling each other closer. 

Serena felt her knees go weak as Bernie’s lips left hers, trailing down her jaw and neck, her teeth scraping along Serena’s skin. Serena’s hands were still tangled in Bernie’s hair and she pulled Bernie’s mouth closer against her body, desperate for more contact. 

“Fuck... Bernie…” Serena breathed as Bernie unbuttoned the top of Serena’s black shirt and sucked hard on Serena’s skin just below her collarbone and above her breast, hard enough to leave a mark.

Serena pulled Bernie back up and into another kiss before they parted, their breathing heavy as their eyes met. 

“I was so afraid when I woke up this morning that I’d destroyed what we have.” Bernie whispered. 

“Bernie, seeing you when I woke up this morning was the most wonderful thing I could have imagined.” Serena smiled.

“I can’t believe I’ve just kissed Serena Campbell.” A smile spread across Bernie’s lips. Her cheeks with flushed and her bottom lip slightly pink from Serena’s lipstick. 

“You better believe it.” She smirked before leaning in to capture Bernie’s mouth in another kiss. This kiss was slower and more tender than the first, but somehow even more passionate. Serena heard Bernie moan deeply and Bernie’s hand start to snake under her shirt and then under her vest, grazing the bare skin of her stomach with her fingertips before cupping the lace of her bra roughly. 

Serena felt as though she might orgasm there and then as she whimpered at the intense desire that shot through her body and culminated between her legs. Her hips pushed towards Bernie’s body, desperate for more contact, but was disappointed when Bernie pulled away completely.

“We can’t do this here, Serena. I’m not going to fuck you at work….” She took Serena’s hands in hers, “I want to treat you with the proper respect and attention you deserve. I want to show you how much I care about you."

Serena’s disappointment faded as her heart soared at Bernie’s words. The sincerity in Bernie’s expression was striking. 

“We should head back to the office.”  Bernie continued, receiving a silent nod from Serena in agreement. 

Serena buttoned up her shirt, giving Bernie a quick eyebrow raise at the sight of the hickey on her chest. “You’re in trouble.”

“I do hope you’ll punish me.” Bernie winked before opening the examination room door and they headed down the corridor together, back to AAU.

“Will you come back to mine tonight? At least for dinner?” Serena asked as they reached their office.

“I told Marcus I’d be home. He said the kids were asking where I was… I should really be there.” Bernie slipped her coat on.

“Another time?”

“You can count on it.”

 

* * *

 

That night Serena slipped under the covers of her own bed. She lay back, her eyes closed as she remembered how Bernie’s lips and hands felt against her body. She noticed her bed smelt of Bernie, a gentle vanilla smell, the memory of being so close to her sent a wave of heat across Serena’s body, culminating in her lower stomach and twisted in a searing throb that travelled much lower.

She closed her eyes, feeling the heat rise between her legs as she fantasised about what could have been this evening, what may be to come when she finally got Bernie into her bed. Her were thoughts consumed with what Bernie's fingers, and her mouth, would do to her. 

A quiet moan slipped from Serena’s lips as she allowed her own fingers to slide down inside her pyjamas trousers. “Oh… yes… Bernie” She gasped. Her back arched from the bed as she revelled in the vividness of her imagination. Hearing Bernie’s name falling from lips only seemed to turn her on more. Her head tipped back against the pillow as her body tensed, her release ripping through her and pulsating across every nerve.

The world seemed to spin in the darkness of the room as Serena’s breath slowly returned back to its normal rhythm. Reality returned as her phone vibrated on her bedside table. It was a message from Bernie.

_ I miss you X _

Serena smiled as she wrote her reply.

_ I miss you, Bern. Did you really tell Jason the sun lights up when I enter a room? X _

She waited a few seconds before Bernie’s reply came through.

_ Yes, it just kind of slipped out. I didn’t think he’d tell you. I meant it though X _

Serena went to sleep that night feeling happiness spread through her like a vine, reaching every finger and every toe, wrapping itself tightly around her heart and vowing to never to let go. 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! I can only apologise for the lack of updates to this. Hopefully back on track now. 
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely comments so far. Have a great weekend!!

**Chapter Eight**

Butterflies filled Serena’s stomach as she left her car and headed across the car park towards the hospital. Seeing Bernie this morning as going to be odd. Their relationship was completely altered, albeit for the better, but they were going to have to learn a new way of being, and that thought scared the living daylights out of her.

Serena skipped her usual trip to Pulses, anxious enough with the addition of caffeine in her system. She headed straight to AAU, her eyes gazing across the ward to take in how many beds were in use and who was on shift. She couldn’t see a single empty bed and people were rushing around left, right and centre. It was going to be a busy day.

“Morning, Miss Campbell.” Raf joined her behind the semicircular ward desk. “We’ve just admitted a male, 36, fell through his loft floor, suspected broken ribs and he’s booked in for a CT to rule out any head injuries but they’ve got a backlog so it could be a couple of hours wait. And he’s taken out last free bed, so if ED ring again you’ll have to let them know we’re full up. They might listen to you more than they’ve listened to me.”

Serena nodded, “Alright. Anything else I should know?”

“Miss Wolfe was in theatre with the patient in bay 5, but she should be done any time… ah, speak of the devil.” Serena’s eyes followed Raf’s to see Bernie heading over.  “I need to get going.”

“Okay, thanks Raf.” Serena replied, her eyes not leaving Bernie’s figure as she approached. Somehow she made AAU scrubs look amazing.

“Morning.” Bernie’s fingers grazed over Serena’s lower back as she placed a file onto the desk, her body momentarily much too close than was appropriate in the middle of the ward.

“Hi.” Serena felt herself blushing, her body tingling from Bernie’s touch. “You been here long?”

“A couple of hours. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Everything okay?” Serena looked at her, concerned.

“I had someone on my mind,” Bernie gave a small smile, her eyes telling more of the story than her lips could.

“I see.” Serena felt herself becoming lost in Bernie’s gaze, the bustle of the ward becoming insignificant, melting away into silence. For that few seconds they were the only ones that existed in the world, and it felt perfect.

“Will you have lunch with me later?” Bernie asked.

Serena nodded, although secretly hoped ‘lunch’ was actually a codeword for making out in a storeroom together.

Much to Serena’s delight, her interpretation of ‘lunch’ was exactly the same as Bernie’s. After a manic 4 hours of desperately trying to free up beds and admit new patients whilst arguing with other departments over who was in line to use x-ray and CT machines, Bernie finally pulled Serena into a cleaner’s closet and up against the door.

Bernie’s thigh was pressed hard between Serena’s legs. Serena’s shirt was on the floor somewhere, her nail under Bernie’s scrub shirt, digging into Bernie’s bare back as Bernie rolled her hips against Serena’s.

Their kisses were a battle for control, both needing the other like they needed the air in their lungs, neither willing to be passive. Bernie’s hands slid around Serena’s arse, grabbing her roughly and causing her to let out a breathy moan. Serena was discovering that keeping silent was proving to be difficult when Bernie Wolfe was on the verge of making you come.

Bernie’s mouth left hers and travelled to her neck, she trailed a line of hot kisses along her jawbone, only to pause as she heard her phone beeping.

Serena closed her eyes, her body aching as Bernie left her body to grab her mobile from the shelf where she’d placed it.

“We need to get back. Fletch needs us.” Bernie read from her phone and passed Serena her shirt from the floor.

Serena slipped it back on over her shoulders and buttoned it up, mentally trying to repress the throbbing between her thighs.

“How about we finish this at your place later?” Bernie whispered, placing a kiss on Serena’s cheek.

“Sounds perfect.”

 

* * *

 

“There’s still a buildup of fluid in the lungs that I’m not happy about.” Serena passed Fletch back his iPad as they walked down the corridors of the hospital, having just been to observe an MRI scan on one of their patients.

“At least his brain is clear.” Fletch replied.

“Small mercies.”

“Hansenn visited whilst you and Bernie were at lunch,” Fletch fiddled around with his iPad as they walked together, “He said some bloke called Mr Dunn is joining us tomorrow. He was looking for you but I said I’d just let you know when I saw you. Isn’t that Bernie’s husband?”

“Yes.” Serena replied. She’d completely forgot about Marcus. The last 12 hours had been a whirlwind - a whirlwind in which Marcus had not been a factor.

“It’ll be good for Bernie and him to be working together. Can’t imagine they’ve seen much of each other lately, with Bernie working long shifts here and that.”

“I suppose.” Serena tried to brush off the conversation. Her stomach filled with a slow, sinking feeling. Bernie’s husband… How could she have forgotten Bernie was still married?

Is this how Edward’s bimbo had felt? Had she cared when she was playing a part in the break up of Serena’s marriage? Serena tried to wipe the thoughts from her mind. Bernie was going to get a divorce, it wasn’t like Serena had altered anything between Bernie and Marcus. As much as Serena wanted to believe what she was telling herself, she knew what Bernie and her were doing was fundamentally wrong and went against everything she believed in. She was a hypocrite.

“Serena?” Serena looked at Fletch and realised he’d been talking to her. They were stood outside the doors to AAU. “You alright, Serena?” He reached out and touched the side of her arm.

“Yes, just tired.” She lied.

“Maybe Mr Dunn being here will help you too,” Fletch smiled, “help to lighten the load.”

Serena gave a smile and went off to check on her other patients. Mr Dunn was the last thing she needed right now.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day seemed to drag painfully slowly as Serena tortured herself with her guilt. When the clock finally hit 8pm she headed into her office to grab her coat.

Bernie smiled as she entered, closing down her computer, “I was wondering where you were.”

“Fletch said Marcus is starting work here tomorrow,” Serena replied, exasperated from the stress of the situation. “Hansenn came down earlier and told him.”

“Right, well we can deal with that tomorrow.” Bernie rose from her chair.

“Have you told him yet?” Serena asked. She desperately wanted to let Bernie to take her to bed and forgot about Marcus for tonight, but she just couldn’t. “Have you told him you want a divorce?” She was glad the blinds were drawn and the door closed, their conversation no longer suitable for work.

“No. I can’t until he’s finished working here. It’d be too awkward.” Bernie stayed put next to her desk, as though she was afraid of approaching Serena in such a fragile situation.

“And were you going to tell me at any point?” Serena asked.

“Does it really matter when I tell him? I’m not _with_ him.”

“Of course it bloody matters!” she snapped, “you still wear your wedding ring, you still sleep in the same house as him.” Serena could feel the heat rise in her body as her temper rose in spite of herself. She didn’t want to be angry at Bernie, she was angry at the situation more than anything, but Bernie needed to fix this - for herself and for Serena.

“Marcus will only be here for a few weeks--”

“And you expected me to be your dirty little secret until then?”

“No,” Bernie replied, her tone sharp, “I expected you to want to keep us quiet until you were sure this was what you wanted. So what if Marcus is here? It’s not like you and I would be coming into work tomorrow to announce to the entire ward that we’d spent the night together, is it?”

“Bernie, you don’t understand,” Serena felt tears in her eyes, “when Edward cheated on me...” She could still remember all those nights when she had heard Edward come home in the early hours, how he'd got into their bed smelling of another woman's perfume, had acted like his behaviour was normal. Even though they never discussed it, he knew Serena knew and he never stopped, never showed any sign that he cared.

Knowing how it felt to be that person in a marriage, how could Serena willingly involve herself in an affair? Even if it was with Bernie - her best friend and the person she trusted more than anyone. 

“I’m not Edward,” Bernie reached out tentatively, taking Serena’s hands in hers, “this isn’t the same, Serena.”

“I can’t bring you home with me, Bernie. I can’t give myself to you when you’re still someone else’s.” Tears spilled down Serena’s cheeks but she left her hands entwined with Bernie’s, letting the tears fall onto her shirt. 

“You’re all I want.” Bernie whispered, her forehead coming to lean against Serena’s.

“Then show me, Bern.” Serena replied, closing her eyes in the hope that not seeing Bernie’s big, beautiful brown eyes would make this easier.

And with that, Bernie was gone.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This seemed to take forever to write, but thankfully I got there in the end and have nearly finished chapter 10 as well. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks again for all the comments and kudos - really lovely to see and read your feedback. 
> 
> Disclaimer: For the sake of this story Serena has never met Marcus, until now! :)

**Chapter Nine**

 

Serena spent her evening sat with Jason as he watched his quiz shows. She had texted Jason earlier that day to tell him Bernie would be joining them that evening for dinner, but thankfully he hadn’t pressed for more information when Serena had turned up alone and simply told him Bernie couldn’t make it.

She had tried to focus on the television to give her mind a rest of the angst she felt but Bernie filled her thoughts completely. She hadn’t heard anything from her all evening, the radio silence making Serena doubt Bernie would even going to speak to Marcus about their divorce at all. The idea that Bernie might give up on her made tears prick Serena’s eyes and she blinked them away. It felt as though they had been through so much together, from the prickly start of co-leading AAU to the massive leap of realising their feelings for one another. Serena feared this last hurdle would destroy everything they had shared together. How could they go back to simply being colleagues now? 

Serena took another sip of her wine, glancing over at Jason as he changed the channel on the television. He had chosen to sit next to her on the sofa that evening rather than his usual spot in the armchair. Unable to communicate his concern for her through conversation he was doing what he could in the only way he knew how - just to be close, to be there. Serena loved him even more for it.

She managed to stay awake for another 30 minutes before her eyelids became heavy, the stress of the day finally taking its toll. “I’m going to bed, Jason.” She spoke.

Jason reached out and gently, but very briefly, held Serena’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Good night, aunty Serena.”

* * *

 

The queue for Pulses seemed endless and Serena felt herself becoming annoyed at the ridiculous orders people were making - who really needed a double shot of vanilla syrup at 7am?

“I thought I might find you here.” Serena looked to her side to see Bernie join her in the queue, dressed in her AAU scrubs and grey hooded jumper, her hair tied back in her classic ‘I haven’t brushed my hair in days’ Bernie-style.

“Oh, good morning.” She couldn’t help but smile at Bernie’s presence, despite the nerves that thrashed inside of her, desperate to find out what Bernie had decided to do. 

“Time for a chat?” It was clear from the dark circles under Bernie’s eyes that she hadn’t slept all night. She looked exhausted, but her smile settled Serena’s anxiety somewhat.

“Of course.” Serena finally reached the till and ordered black americanos for herself and Bernie, they received their drinks a couple of minutes later and headed outside.

They found a spot on a wooden bench in the peace garden that felt a little hidden away from the rest of the area. Serena wanted to speak but didn’t know what to say. They shared an uncomfortable silence, neither sure quite how to start.

It was Bernie who eventually spoke. “I told him our marriage wasn’t working and hadn’t been for a while, that I thought it was best we went our separate ways,” her eyes focused on the coffee cup she held in her hands, her fingers nervously playing with the cheap plastic lid. “He kept asking me why, what he’d done wrong, what he could do to fix it…” She trailed off as she looked into the deep greenery of the trees in front of them. “We talked all night, I kept telling him there’s nothing he can do to change how I feel. It’s like it can’t sink in for him, that 25 years of marriage can just… end.”

Serena reached over and slid her fingers between Bernie’s, holding her hand tightly.

“I didn’t tell him about us. I couldn’t. It would have broken his heart to know there was someone else. I couldn’t bear for him to hate you as well as me--” Bernie continued but her voice was breaking. It was obvious how difficult she was finding the situation, and mixed with lack of sleep Serena could only imagine how wrecked she must feel.

Serena shushed her gently, raising Bernie’s hand to her lips and placed a kiss against her skin. She didn’t care if someone saw them, Bernie needed her support and she wanted to give it. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

Bernie’s head came to rest on Serena’s shoulder. “It feels so heartbreakingly awful to do that to him, to our marriage, but I finally feel like I can be the person I’ve wanted to be my entire life. Is it wrong to feel like that? I don’t know how I should feel.”

“You did the right thing.”

“I know I did,” Bernie raised her head, her eyes meeting Serena’s. “Because I look at you and I see my whole life ahead of me.”

Serena smiled, closing the gap between them to capture Bernie’s lips in a slow, lingering kiss. The boldness of her own actions shocked her but it felt right, like the most right thing she’d done in her life - to kiss Berenice Wolfe, out in the open, not to hide from her own emotions or be afraid of anyone else’s opinion. She too was beginning to feel like the person she had always wanted to be. “You’re beautiful.” she whispered. “Now come on, let’s face the day. We can do this together.”

* * *

 

How Serena’s unread emails could go from 8 to 76 in the space of 10 hours was beyond belief. She muttered sarcastic replies she wished she could write as she read through them. Marcus was due to start his shift at 11am and she could tell Bernie was getting twitchy as the hour approached.

“Bernie,” she looked over from her computer, “stop fidgeting. It’ll be fine.”

“I wish we weren’t in this situation… I wish…” she closed her eyes as though she was attempting to hold back the emotions that might escape if she let them.

Their conversation was broken by the sound of a knock at the door. Serena knew just from looking at the man on the other side of the glass that this was Marcus.

“Come in.” she called in a much cheerier voice than she felt she owed him considering the hard time it looked as though Bernie had gone through last night. She noted Marcus’ stocky build and stubbled face, his dark hair cut into a short, Action-Man-style sort of cut. She had imagined Bernie would be married to someone with an air of macho-bloke and Marcus was certainly that.

It was clear that Marcus had seen Bernie sat in the office and chosen to ignore her. His attention focused solely on Serena. “You must be the illustrious Serena Campbell. I’ve heard all about you.” Marcus smiled at her, reaching out his hand to shake hers.

“Mr Dunn.” She briefly stood from her seat to shake his hand.  He obviously hadn't been told _all_ about her - Serena was pretty sure Marcus would not have shaken her hand if he knew she had a substantial love-bite on her chest from his wife. “I’m afraid we don’t really have much space for another person in our office but I’m sure we’ll make do.” Serena smiled. “You must have suffered from the same lack of space at St James.”

“Of course.” Marcus was about to sit down in the chair next to Serena’s desk when the red phone rang.

“The fun never stops in AAU. Care to join me in theatre?” Serena asked Marcus, knowing Bernie would appreciate some space to herself. Operating alongside Marcus also meant that Bernie didn’t have to - a situation Serena hoped she could avoid at all costs over the next few weeks.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you folks don't mind, I've had to raise the rating on the fic due to this chapter. I did try and write it as a 'Mature' but it didn't work, so this is also a warning that this chapter does contain adult material.
> 
> Reviews, kudos, and you reading this at all is so lovely and brings a smile to my face :)

**Chapter Ten**

Much to Serena’s delight and slight annoyance it turned out Marcus was a superb surgeon - calm, controlled and knowledgeable, other than Bernie she couldn't remember working alongside a more skilled doctor. She’d had visions of him cracking under the pressure of the job and having to tell Hanssen that Marcus simply wasn't up to AAU standard, but she’d instead given him a tour of the ward, the charts for all current patients and introduced him to Fletch and Raf, who seemed to really like him.

With Marcus getting stuck into the workload, Serena slipped away to find Bernie. She found her on the roof, smoking.

“Those things will kill you.” Serena came and sat down beside her on the fire escape, basking in the warmth of midday sunshine.

“It’s only one, I promise.” Bernie took a drag on the cigarette.

“Where are you staying?”

“I agreed to stay living at home until we’d told the kids about the divorce, although Marcus and I didn’t agree when exactly we would do that,” Bernie stubbed out the cigarette on the metal step they were sat on. “I don’t think anyone would miss me tonight, if you’re not doing anything that is.”

“I’m sure I could find some time in my schedule.” Serena smiled. “Takeaway at mine?”

“Mmm, yes please.” Bernie scooted closer to Serena’s side so that their shoulders met.

“Will you stay tonight?” Serena asked, a little nervous both at the idea of Bernie staying and that she might say no.

“I will. On one condition - no one sleeps on the sofa tonight.”

Serena’s heart leapt furiously inside her, her nerves mixing with anticipation and desire at the idea of finally sharing a bed with Bernie. “Deal.” She smiled.

 

* * *

 

Bernie arrived at Serena’s house shortly after 7pm, having had to nip home to pick up her toothbrush, pyjamas and a change of clothes for tomorrow. Serena had already ordered their food, having both agreed on chinese, and Jason had helped Serena set the kitchen table. 

“The food shouldn’t be more than 10 minutes.” Serena had said as she’d taken Bernie’s coat at the door.

“Good, I’m ravenous.” Bernie replied before kissing Serena with a force that made Serena think Bernie hadn’t been talking about the food. Serena felt herself blush as Bernie’s hands pulled her closer and she responded, pushing her tongue inside Bernie’s mouth and receiving a groan of delight in response. 

They’d stayed in the hallway for much longer than was normal for a casual greeting, and Serena heard Jason cough pointedly from the living room, as if to remind them they weren’t the only people in the house.

“Do you want to drop your bag off upstairs? I’ll pour you a glass of wine.” Serena straightened out her shirt, blushing. 

Bernie agreed, and when she came back downstairs, the takeaway had been delivered and Serena was placing all of the plastic containers on the middle of the kitchen table. Jason looked thrilled to see Bernie and it made Serena smile that he seemed so accepting of Bernie’s presence. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Bernie asked, taking a seat opposite Jason at the table.

“No. Sit down, I’m taking care of you tonight.” Serena placed her hand gently on Bernie’s shoulder as she poured her a glass of wine. “Just relax.” 

 

* * *

 

A bottle of wine and a few hours later, Serena and Bernie had left Jason downstairs to finish watching his TV shows. He didn’t have work tomorrow and had said he wanted to stay up late to make the most of it and Serena hadn’t complained - she had plans for Bernie and the further away Jason was from her bedroom the better. 

Bernie was no stranger to Serena’s bedroom but as they both entered the room, it felt so completely different to how they had been here before. Serena flicked on one of the bedside lamps to cast the room in a soft glow and disappeared into the bathroom to get changed. She’d chosen a leopard-print nightdress and matching nightgown, feeling slightly nervous about how much of her cleavage the low-cut silk revealed. She tied the nightgown around herself and headed back out.

Bernie was laid on top of the covers in a pair of black boxer shorts and a tight white cotton t-shirt. Bernie made no attempt to hide how her eyes raked over Serena’s body as she headed over to the bed. The desire in her gaze made Serena’s knees feel weak.

“I said I wanted to take care of you,” Serena joined her on the bed, placing a soft kiss on her lips, “is that still alright?”

Serena knew Bernie well enough to know how Bernie hated to be vulnerable, hated to feel like she wasn’t in control. This wasn’t as simple as Bernie enjoying being taken of, this was her surrendering to somebody else.

Bernie nodded her agreement. 

“Lay on your front.” Serena instructed. 

Bernie did as she was told although Serena could hear a slight shake in her intake of breath, unsure of what was to come.

Serena pulled a bottle of massage oil from her bedside draw and straddled Bernie’s backside, trying hard not to become distracted by the feeling of her clit pressing against Bernie’s ass, even despite the layers of clothing between them it felt unbearably intense.  She leaned forward, her breasts pressing against Bernie’s back as she whispered in her ear, “I want to take your t-shirt off.”

She was sure she heard a small moan escape Bernie’s lips, and with no objection she sat back up and slowly started to slide the soft cotton up over Bernie’s back, her fingernails lightly scraping across her skin. Soon enough, Bernie’s t-shirt was over her head and on the floor, the sight of Bernie’s bare, muscular back making Serena realise just how soaked her knickers already were.

Trying to remain composed, she poured a little oil into her hands from the bottle beside her. She’d bought the oil whilst she was with Robbie but had soon realised he had no desire to touch her unless it was whilst he was fucking her - he had deemed the oil not to be necessary to that and it was soon forgotten about.

Serena’s hands started slowly at the base of Bernie’s back, the oil warming her hands as she began to work it into Bernie’s tight muscles, instantly feeling Bernie relax beneath her as she realised what Serena was up to.

She slid her hands all the way up Bernie’s back, her thumbs grazing over each of her vertebrate, Bernie emitting a definite groan at the sensation. Serena’s fingers worked into Bernie’s shoulders, hard enough to release the tightness there but not rough. She continued to massage Bernie’s back, feeling the heat rise between her legs, as she slowly shifted her weight backwards and forwards, making sure she tackled every area of Bernie’s back from the base to the top. 

“Serena, this feels amazing.” Bernie breathed. 

“You feel amazing.” Serena countered, her hands sliding down Bernie’s sides, scraping the edge of her breasts and over her hips.  Her mind was completely consumed by the idea of rubbing the oil into Bernie’s breasts, over her ass, and how slick their bodies would feel together once Bernie was completely covered in oil and pressed up against her. Serena’s fingers slid down from Bernie’s hips to briefly tease inside her shorts, a gasp escaping Bernie’s lips, before Serena’s hands slid back up again to her shoulders.

“You’re teasing me.” Bernie whimpered.

Serena leaned forward, whispering in her ear, “Am I?” she asked innocently.

Bernie responded by pushing her ass up against Serena and grinding into her. This time it was Serena’s turn to whimper, her release building inside of her at the sensation. Bernie used the distraction to turn around on the bed so she was now facing Serena.

The sight of Bernie’s breasts made Serena quiver with want, although she felt a fresh jolt of nerves at the realisation that she was making this up as she went along. Being with Bernie felt so natural, but at the same time this was her first time in bed with a woman, and she was very much aware of her lack of skills in this department.

As though Bernie could sense Serena’s nerves, she took the lead, her hands coming to Serena’s nightgown to untie it and push it down from her shoulders. A grin crossed her lips at the sight of Serena’s breasts beneath the silk nightdress, her nipples hard and evident through the thin material. Bernie ran her thumbs over them at a tantalising pace, Serena’s back arching to push her breasts further into Bernie’s hands. 

Bernie’s hips pushed up against Serena’s, the pulsating between Serena’s thighs now unbearable, her legs shaking and her breath laboured. “Fuck...Bernie.” She gasped. 

Bernie pulled Serena down into a searing kiss, her teeth pulling at Serena’s bottom lip, “I want these off.” Her hands came down to Serena’s knickers and she began to push them down Serena’s thighs.

Serena obliged, slipping them off her legs, straddling Bernie’s hips again, able to now feel how soaked Bernie’s shorts were from her own want. “I thought I was meant to be taking care of you.” 

“All I want right now is for you to come all over my hand, Serena.” Bernie’s fingers reached down to between Serena’s legs. 

Serena moaned, knowing it wouldn’t take much to fulfil Bernie’s request, she was already so close. Bernie’s fingers slid through her slick folds and wasted no time in entering Serena, pushing her to sit upright as she slid two of her fingers in and out of her, slow, deep and curling just in the right place.

Serena felt her whole body tremble as her hips and Bernie’s fingers created a rhythm together, the pace quickening as Serena sought for as much of Bernie as she could get. She fucked herself on Bernie’s hand, moans and cries building as she felt her orgasm begin to take hold.

She looked down at Bernie to see the dark desire in Bernie’s eyes, Bernie pulling two of Serena’s fingers into her mouth, sucking them hard. The sensation of Bernie’s tongue against her fingertips added to the unbearable intensity and with a flick of Bernie’s thumb against Serena’s clit, Serena came undone, Bernie’s name spilling from her lips. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/3 of this chapter is shameless smut so I apologise if that's not your cup of tea, but I hope you enjoy it if it is. :)

**Chapter 12**

Just as Serena’s breathing seemed to settle she felt Bernie’s hands pulling at the bottom of her nightdress, clearly wanting it off Serena’s body as soon as possible. Serena complied, allowing the silk material to be gently pulled up her body and over her head, Bernie sitting up to give herself enough height to get it over Serena’s head and it joined her nightgown somewhere on the floor. 

Within seconds Bernie’s mouth was on Serena’s breasts, her fingers sliding across Serena’s stomach and back, seeking contact with every part of new skin that had become available to her. Serena moaned as Bernie gently pulled at one of her nipples with her teeth before flicking it with her tongue. 

She broke contact to look up at Serena. “So beautiful.” she whispered.

Serena could feel herself blushing at Bernie’s words and how exposed she was, still straddling Bernie’s hips and now completely naked in front of her. Bernie looked at her like she was a goddess, her brown eyes burning with lust and adoration.

Serena pushed Bernie back down onto the bed, leaning down to kiss her softly. “You’re overdressed.” Her legs left Bernie’s waist and she moved down her body, hooking her fingers into the waistband of Bernie’s shorts. 

The scar from Bernie’s surgery was still faintly visible down her chest and Serena left a trail of kisses down her the faint white line until she was placing hot, lingering kisses across Bernie’s abs and hips.

Her fingers slowly pulled Bernie’s shorts down, inch by inch, revealing small sections of skin each time, her lips covering her skin in kisses until she was met with Bernie’s soft curls. Finally she pulled Bernie’s shorts completely down her legs and slid herself off the bed, taking hold of Bernie’s thighs and pulling her to the edge of the mattress so that her toes just about hit the floor.

Kneeling down on the floor, in front of Bernie’s open legs, Serena looked up to see Bernie looking straight back at her. It turned Serena on that Bernie was watching her and she felt her body tingle with desire that Bernie wanted to watch Serena eat her out. 

Maintaining eye contact, she slowly slipped her tongue inside Bernie’s folds. Bernie let out a desperate groan, her fingers grasping as the bedsheets that had gathered either side of her body. 

Serena could feel herself trembling as she continued to drag her tongue at a painstaking pace through Bernie’s sopping wetness, making a point of avoiding her clit each time. She was more nervous than she thought she would be, anxiety filing her body that she perhaps wouldn’t be up to the job of pleasing Bernie like how she wanted to, or that she wouldn’t live up to any expectations Bernie may have of her. It wasn’t just that Bernie was a woman, it was that Bernie was Bernie - one of the most precious people that had ever come into Serena’s life. It mattered. 

“Serena… please…” Bernie begged breathlessly, her head dropping back onto the mattress.

Serena moved her tongue down to Bernie’s entrance, flexing it and sliding it inside of her. Her hands grasped Bernie’s ass and pulled her closer, nuzzling her mouth into her pussy, her nose bumping into Bernie’s clit as she fucked her with her tongue. Serena felt Bernie’s walls tightening around her tongue, Bernie was close but it wasn’t time for her to come - yet. 

She heard a whimper from Bernie at the brief feeling of Serena’s mouth leaving her and Serena moved her attention higher to where she knew Bernie needed her the most. She spread Bernie’s folds with her fingers and breathed hot air over Bernie’s clit, Bernie’s hips bucking up towards her mouth.

“I do like it when you beg.” Serena smiled, quietly pleased to see how worked up Bernie was from her ministrations. The sight of a hot, sweaty Bernie splayed out naked on her bed and desperate for her touch made Serena’s body quiver with want. 

Bernie didn’t hesitate in meeting Serena’s request. “Please fuck me, Serena... I need you.”

Serena’s tongue finally met with Bernie’s clit, swirling around and over it before sucking it into her mouth. Bernie cried out, her fingers sliding into Serena’s hair in an attempt to make sure Serena wouldn’t stop now, her back arching off the bed.

Serena moaned at the delicious sound of Bernie’s whimpers, continuing to suck on her clit until Bernie fell apart, back arched and fingers clawing her at hair. 

Serena waited until she felt Bernie’s body go limp before joining her back on the bed, gathering Bernie in her arms and holding her close. She could feel Bernie’s heart beating loudly in her chest, her breath still unsettled. 

Serena knew as she held Bernie, Bernie’s head pressed against her chest, their legs entangled and skin pressed against skin, that she had fallen in love. 

* * *

The next few days at work seemed to pass in a blur of eye-sex, lingering fingers and whispered promises of what was to come next time Bernie could stay the night. Bernie had been spending time with Marcus each evening that week, discussing how they would split their finances and the best way to break the news to the kids.

Every morning Bernie had come into work she had looked a little more tired with it all, and Serena had done her best to offer coffee and reassuring touches but she knew how hard it must be for Bernie to deal with it all, especially since Marcus was still seeking an explanation from Bernie as to why she wanted to get divorced at all.

Thankfully Marcus had been settling into AAU well and Serena had managed to keep him and Bernie mostly separate from each other during working hours.

Serena watched as Bernie confidently strode from patient to patient, with Morven by her side, running through what tests were needed for each patient and checking on their status and if they needed to go for scans and so on. It made Serena feel a surge of warmth inside her chest that she cared so much for her co-lead, best friend and now lover. The memory of their night together still flashed in her mind - neither of them had slept much, both eager to explore every centimetre of each other and burn it to memory. Serena had barely been able to walk the next day, Bernie’s fingers and tongue the cause of more orgasms than she could count.

“Ready for our  trapeziectomy, Miss Campbell?” Marcus asked, joining her at the ward desk.

“Oh most definitely.” Serena replied.

Marcus smiled at her slight sarcasm, before motioning with his head towards Bernie’s direction, obviously having noticed Serena looking that way. “Bernie always seems so happy at work."

“She’s in her element.” Serena smiled, trying to hide her discomfort at Marcus’s chosen topic.

“Did she tell you about the divorce?” he asked.

“Yes. I’m sorry to hear that.”

Marcus seemed a little awkward at the question he had on his mind but asked it anyway: “I don’t suppose you know if she’s seeing anyone, do you? It’s just she won’t tell me why this has all come about, I can only assume she’s met someone else.” He seemed genuinely interested in Serena’s response, obvious completely in the dark about her and Bernie.

“If she is she hasn’t said anything to me.” Serena lied, feeling her insides churn as the words passed her lips. How Bernie decided to handle her divorce from Marcus was her decision, as much as Serena hated to lie, she wouldn’t betray Bernie. 

Marcus looked frustrated, lacking the closure he was looking for.

Serena gave Marcus a light pat on his back, breaking his thoughts. “Let’s get Mr Collins into surgery, we can’t keep him waiting around too long, and ED are after his bed.” 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologise profusely for the lack of updates on this fic. Life has been manic and then I lost an entire week completely engrossed in Mixtape:1983 (such an amazing fic). Then I came to post this chapter this morning and AO3 has been down for hours. BUT I'm back now and I fully intended to get back to updating this regularly.
> 
> Thanks so much if you're still sticking with this and for all the lovely reviews so far. :)

**Chapter 12**

Another couple of days passed before Bernie found an evening away from Marcus - he had been invited to present an award at an NHS charity dinner. He had asked her to go with him but she had refused, saying it wouldn’t have been right considering their divorce. It seemed to only have made things between them more uncomfortable. 

Bernie had explained all of this to Serena in the office one afternoon before asking her if she would like to go on a date together, a first date of sorts. Bernie had seemed nervous when she’d asked, awkwardly shifting on her heels as she’d stuttered over her words, as though she was unsure Serena would agree. Serena had of course said yes, touched that Bernie would think it was important to have a first date, despite them already having slept together. It turned out that Berenice Wolfe was a stickler for formalities when it came to dating, although Serena realised it was the only rule she had ever witnessed Bernie to follow. 

That evening, the front door rang as Serena quickly slipped into a pair of black heels, still fiddling with the clasp on the back of her dress and failing. “I’ll get the door, it’ll be Bernie.” Serena called as she headed past Jason’s bedroom.

“Bye!” Jason called casually, still as nonchalant over being home alone for the evening as he had been when Serena had checked he was alright about it, twice.

Serena pulled open the front door and felt her mouth become dry at the sight before her. Bernie was dressed in a black suit, with a crisp white shirt, the top three buttons undone to reveal a little cleavage. She looked stunning.

“Evening.” Bernie’s cheeks blushed a little that Serena was so obviously approving her of choice of outfit. She leaned in and kissed Serena’s cheek, her lips lingering on Serena’s skin for a second.

Serena felt her heart flutter at the contact between them. “I just need to grab my bag… oh and can you do my dress up? I couldn’t get the clasp.” She turned around and pointed to the top of her dress. Serena had tried on almost every dress she owned before finally settling on this one - black, fitted and knee-length, with a sweetheart neckline and push-up bra underneath, a combination she was sure would catch Bernie’s attention.

Bernie’s fingers made quick work of the fastening, although she stayed behind Serena, leaning into whisper, “You look exquisite.” Before placing a lingering kiss on Serena’s neck.

 

* * *

Bernie drove Serena to a French restaurant a few miles outside of Holby, situated in an old Victorian hotel. A large chandelier hung from the ridiculously high painted ceiling of the room, oil paintings lined the walls, and a pianist playing on a small stage at the end of the room. Serena couldn’t remember the last time she’d been somewhere so luxurious.

A host took their jackets and led them to a small table in the middle of the restaurant. The table was covered in a thick white tablecloth, silver cutlery and crystal glasses, and a bottle of Shiraz was already on the table, open and breathing. The host poured them both a glass as they sat down, before passing them both menus.

As Serena read over the menu her mouth dropped open at the cost of the food. “Bernie…” she started.

Bernie reached across the table, taking Serena’s hand in hers, “Please don’t worry about the price of anything. Just order what you’d like. I’ve got this.”

“Albie’s do 2 main meals for £10 on a Friday.” She half-teased in response.  

“Serena, I’m not going to take you on a date to Albie’s,” Bernie smiled, “I want to show you how special you are. I want to constantly surround you with beauty.” Her thumb stroked across the back of Serena’s hand.  It made Serena’s heart feel as though it might burst that Bernie would be intimate with her in public.

“I am surrounded with beauty when I’m with you.” Serena replied simply.

 

* * *

Serena traced her fingers across Bernie’s hip, her bare skin soft underneath Serena’s touch. Bernie’s body told the stories of her time in the army, little marks and scars still just visible across her pale skin from various explosions, falls and fights.

Their meal that night had been wonderful, Serena had felt completely indulged by Bernie’s kindness and had made it up to her on more than one occasion as soon as they’d got home. She was still in awe of how Bernie felt to touch, how she tasted, how she had gushed against Serena’s fingers and moaned as Serena had whispered in her ear what an absolute fucking she was about to get. Serena didn’t think she would ever tire of it.

Now, laying next to each other in bed, both on their sides and only visible to each other from the moonlight outside, Serena was immersing herself in the smallest details of Bernie’s body, relishing in how exposed Bernie allowed herself to be before her. The silk of Serena’s sheets covered them both in parts, wrapped around their bodies in a messy sort of fashion, having slowly become tangled up from their hours together.

Serena brought her fingers higher up over Bernie’s body, grazing over her nipple and feeling it harden against her touch. Her stomach knotted in desire and she knew from Bernie’s eyes that she was feeling the same thing.

“I can’t believe I’m here.” Bernie’s voice broke the silence between them. “I feel as though everything that happened was leading me to you. The army, Marcus, Alex. It all seems worth it now - now I’m here.” She trailed her fingers across Serena’s cheekbone and down to her lips as she seemed to try to commit every detail of Serena’s face to her memory.“I’m going to find an apartment somewhere,” she finally spoke again. “I was thinking of somewhere closer to you?”

Serena smiled. The idea of Bernie being close by filling her body with joy. She couldn’t think of anything better than the freedom of openly being together, able to spend as much time as they liked together, just a few minutes away from each other.

“Will you help me look at some places? This weekend?”

Serena felt overwhelmed by Bernie’s words, her heart screaming ’ _tell her you love her_ ’ but her mind knowing better. She knew Bernie well enough to know that commitment was scary for her, and living close by was a massive step on its own. A confession of deep, undying love would probably send Bernie packing quicker than Serena could get dressed to stop her.“I’d love to.” She replied.

 

* * *

Serena pulled her coat on, her eyes not leaving Bernie’s as they got ready to leave the office. They had agreed to go for a drink at Albie’s with Feltch and Raf. Serena hoped they’d be able to find a quiet space between the hospital and Albie’s to steal a kiss or three, having struggled to keep her hands to herself all day. “There’s nothing like a shiraz on a Friday to heal the soul.” she grinned.

Bernie opened her mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by the sound of the red phone ringing. They didn’t have to wait long before Morven popped her head around the office door, “Pile up on the motorway. Estimating 20 casualties and ED are already at full capacity.”

“We’ll take them. All of them.” Bernie chucked her coat on the nearby chair and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Not even a flicker of the tiredness Serena knew Bernie felt from their 12-hour shift had shown itself at Morven’s words. Bernie was needed and she would be there for her patients no matter what. It made Serena’s heart soar with love and pride.

Serena changed into her scrubs in just enough time before the first batch of patients were wheeled through the door. The changes Bernie had made to the ward in the last few months had set them up perfectly to respond to situations like this, and she, Serena and Morven operated like a well-oiled machine as they assessed what was needed for each patient, ran tests and prioritised which patients would need surgery first.

 

* * *

The clock in AAU read 4am and Serena was starting to feel her body ache with tiredness. She and Bernie had performed surgery on four of the twenty patients that had been admitted. Just after 1am they had lost a 60 year old woman, her heart had given up as soon as they had tried to mend the damage done from the impact of the crash. Serena’s fingers had entwined with Bernie’s as they had silently scrubbed out, both still finding it hard to lose a life. 

They’d managed to discharge 3 patients with very minor injuries, but had had to double up some of the bays on AAU to make room for the 16 that remained. It was less than ideal but eventually everyone on the ward was stable enough to be left for a few hours.

“Go home, Morven.” Raf patted the back of his colleague, having rushed back to AAU as soon as the effects of his beer with Fletch had worn off.

Morven let out a yawn and nodded, not needing any encouragement to head home to her own bed.

“You two should go too.” He motioned to Bernie and Serena.

Bernie shook her head, “Mr Dunn is due in in a few hours, I can stay til he gets here.” She was leant up against the inside of the AAU desk, Serena closely by her side.

“I’m not going either.” Serena shook her head. “You might need us.”

 “At least get some sleep?” Raf tried one more time to get the women to stand down from their actions for a short while.

“Alright,” Serena conceded after a short pause. She desperately needed to sleep, even if just for an hour. “I’ll be in the on-call room.”

 

* * *

The on-call room was small but contained everything that was necessary for a night's sleep. A single bed was positioned up against the corner and Serena pushed off her shoes before collapsing on the just-about-comfortable mattress. Her eyes closed as her head hit the pillow and she took a deep breath, exhaling the tension she could feel had gathered in her body that night.

She heard the door open and click closed and didn’t even need to open her eyes to know it was Bernie. Serena smiled as she felt the bed shift behind her, Bernie’s strong hands wrapping around her waist and her lips gently meeting Serena’s neck.

“Raf told me I needed to sleep too and the thought of getting a few hours next to you was more than tempting.” She whispered against Serena’s ear, sending a shiver across Serena’s skin. Bernie lips pressed against Serena’s ear before trailing down her neck, until she was placing hot, open mouthed kisses against Serena’s collarbone.

“Oh Bernie,” Serena breathed, pushing herself back into Bernie’s hips and feeling Bernie push forward against her, rolling her hips against Serena’s ass. Serena could hear Bernie’s breath quicken at the effect their contact was already having.

One of Bernie’s hands travelled up, under Serena’s scrub top and into her bra, her fingers gently pulling at Serena’s already stiff nipples. The other headed down under Serena’s trousers and knickers and straight into her slick folds. The relief of finally having Bernie’s touch made Serena whimper. Their legs tangled as Bernie wrapped her leg over Serena’s, pushing herself more directly against Serena’s ass and widening Serena’s legs at the same time.

“You’re so wet.” Bernie moaned, two fingers plunging quickly into Serena, finding just the right angle despite the small space the scrub trousers allowed for.

“Oh god.” Serena’s voice shook at the sensation of Bernie’s wonderful, long fingers in all the right places. Her hips met with the rhythm of Bernie’s, still feeling Bernie grinding into her.

Serena was finding it more and more difficult to remain quiet as she felt her release build rapidly. Bernie creating a sublime torture, rubbing at her clit until Serena felt like she was about to cum before sliding her fingers back inside her. Serena reached behind, grasping the back of Bernie’s neck to pull her closer into her neck, her other hand pulling at the bedsheets. 

The pace Bernie had made between them was unrelenting. Even through their clothes, Serena could feel the heat from Bernie’s cunt on her, the thought of Bernie getting off from driving up against her made her insides contract even further with desire.

She heard Bernie let out a cry, her body tensing behind Serena’s as her own orgasm began to overtake her. Bernie’s fingers remaining now where Serena needed them the most, applying an overwhelming amount of pressure that made Serena see stars as she came. Their bodies shook together as their grips tightened on each other, Bernie’s teeth pulling at Serena’s earlobe as she whimpered with each shudder her release echoed across her body.

The stress of that evening and the pain of losing a patient in theatre seemed to wash away as Serena’s breathing settled out and she felt Bernie pull a blanket over them both and snuggle in closer to her. Her fingers stayed dipped inside Serena’s scrubs, the comfort of Bernie’s hands on her bare skin bringing a smile to Serena’s lips as she fell asleep.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the rollercoaster of this week's episode, I had hoped to find some fluff that would fit into this chapter to bring some relief, but I'm afraid it's pretty much entirely angst! Fluff will come, soon. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading so far, and for your comments and kudos <3

**Chapter 13**

Serena awoke to feel Bernie shifting next to her. As her eyes flickered open she realised she’d somehow managed to turn around in her sleep and was now face to face with Bernie. She remembered how they had been positioned like this on her sofa those weeks ago, how terrified she’d been of her own feelings and how uncertain things were between them. Relishing in the knowledge of their shared feelings, she leant in and placed a kiss on Bernie’s lips, surprised to feel Bernie kiss her back as she woke up.

Serena slipped her tongue between Bernie’s lips, her fingers pushing her Bernie’s scrub top and scraping across her taut stomach. She felt Bernie’s hips buck forwards as her fingers ran lower, to the start of her trousers. Bernie’s hands cupped Serena’s breasts through her top, her thumbs tracing over her nipples through the thin fabric. So engrossed in each other’s actions, neither woman heard the sound of the on-call room door opening.

“Bernie?”

Marcus’s voice sent Serena’s heart and stomach plummeting through her body and she felt her blood run cold, unable to distance herself quickly enough from Bernie’s body. She sat up in the bed to see Marcus stood in the doorway of the room.

“What are you doing?” He sounded heartbroken but his eyes only showed anger.

“I can explain.” Bernie pulled her top down.

“Is this why you wanted a divorce? Because you’ve been fucking her?” Marcus pointed in Serena’s direction but his eyes remained fixed solely on Bernie.

“It’s not—“

“Do you think the kids will ever forgive you for this? Do you think they’ll ever want to see you again?” Marcus turned and left the room.

“Marcus, please, please don’t tell them.” Bernie got to her feet, rushing after him and out onto AAU.

Serena followed, desperate to help but knowing there was nothing either of them could do to fix this.

“How long has this been going on for?” he stopped next to the ward desk, turning back around to Bernie. “Did you bring her back to our house? Did you sleep together in our bed?”

“No, it wasn’t like that!” Bernie protested.

The entire ward had fallen silent at the scene before them.

“God, Bern. 25 years of marriage, and this is what I get in return? My wife having some sordid affair wth a woman!” Marcus’s voice was raised, cracking with emotion. “And you,” he turned to Serena, “You lied to me!”

“Marcus, I’m sorry.” Serena’s words seemed meaningless as soon as she spoke them and Marcus seemed to take no comfort in her apology.Serena could feel Fletch and Raf’s eyes on her. She couldn’t bring herself to look at either of them.

“Why couldn’t you have just told me?” Marcus asked, his attention back on Bernie. “We could have worked through this.”

“This isn’t something you work through, Marcus.” Bernie sounded exasperated, stressed. “I’m in love with her.”

Serena felt her heart leap. Bernie loved her. Bernie was in love with her.

“We are getting divorced. Serena and I have nothing to do with you!” Bernie continued, her own voice becoming raised.

“As long as you wear that ring on your finger and live in the same house as me and the kids, it has _everything_ to do with me.” He replied, anger thick in his voice, before storming out of the ward.

The silence that fell on the ward was painful and unbearable, as Bernie and Serena stared at each other for a second, both shaken with what had just unfolded between them and Marcus.

“I need to go,” Bernie eventually spoke, her eyes full of tears she wasn’t allowing herself to shed. She took Serena’s hands in hers, “I need to talk to him, get him to calm down.”

“Go. I’ll cover here.” Serena urged.

Bernie squeezed Serena’s hands, her face softening. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She promised, before letting go of Serena’s hands and rushing out of the ward.

Serena felt nauseous and desperate as she stood alone in the middle of AAU. She could feel everyone’s eyes still on her, watching to see what would happen next.

“Let’s get a cup of tea, eh Serena?”

Serena felt Fletch’s hand on her back and she let herself be led out of the ward and upstairs to the roof, making a stop at a hot drink machine along the way. The fresh air of the roof hit Serena’s lungs like she hadn’t taken a breath in hours. She closed her eyes, inhaling it deeply and realising as she released the breath in a shudder that she was still shaking.

Fletch led them over to the stairs of a fire escape and passed Serena her cup of tea as they sat down. “Want to talk about it?” he asked.

“It was… she was going to tell him when he’d finished on AAU… We never intended to hurt Marcus.” Serena couldn’t find a way to explain everything to Fletch, it was all so fragmented in her still unsettled mind.

“Are you the reason Bernie was getting a divorce?”

“No, no. She wanted a divorce before we…” Serena trailed off, the words felt strange on her tongue, “before we fell in love.”

She looked at Fletch and he gave her a grin, obviously pleased to her Serena’s words. “Serena and Bernie… it’s got a ring to it, you should join your names together, like bere—“

“Fletcher.” Serena looked at him.

“Sorry.”

“Marcus was talking about Bernie not seeing the kids anymore,” she sighed.

“No way, they’re both adults. He can tell them whatever he wants, but it’s up to them if they still want to see Bernie or not.”

“I don’t know how to fix this.” Serena took a sip of her tea.

“You can’t, Serena. Bernie and Marcus need to sort this out between themselves. You’ve just got to be there when Bernie needs you.”

“What if she doesn’t come back?” Serena’s head was spinning with the possibilities of the situation. What if Marcus made her choose between her kids and their relationship?

“Mate,” Fletch looked at her incredulous. “I’ve never heard Bernie says she loves _anything,_ and then right in the middle of AAU she says she’s _in love_ with you _._ Of course she’s coming back.”

Serena reached out and covered Fletch’s hand with hers, “Thank you.”

* * *

 

To say the next eight hours were uncomfortable would be an understatement. The patients all stared at Serena as though they had 100 questions they wanted to ask but knew what had happened this morning was none of their business. She was sure as she had walked past a few beds she had heard them whispering about lesbians and ‘that poor man’ (probably meaning Marcus) but tried her best to ignore it.

By 11pm she still hadn’t heard anything, and after having sent four texts that evening asking if everything was okay, and debating multiple times if she should drive over to Bernie’s house to check on her, Serena had given up, exhausted from pacing around the living room. She took a large gulp of wine, noting she had nearly finished the bottle.

Jason had gone to bed an hour ago, having tried to make logic of Bernie’s silence to bring Serena some comfort, but she had picked holes in all of his theories and eventually he had run out of ideas. He had however informed Serena that the entire hospital staff knew about what had happened this afternoon, which brought Serena further angst.

Serena closed her eyes, leaning back on her sofa. “Fuck.”

If only she’d gone home last night instead of using the on-call room…

If only she’d suggested Bernie sleep in the chair rather in than in bed with her…

If only she’d kept her goddamn hands to herself…

Serena let a tired groan pass her lips. Marcus had been less than 2 weeks away from finishing his stint on AAU. 2 more weeks and this would have never have happened. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing and she felt her heart leap inside her body.

Pulling open the front door, Serena felt tears spring to her eyes instantly at the sight before her.

Bernie stood in the archway of Serena’s porch, her shoulders shaking with sobs and her face turned to the ground. Her rucksack was slung on one shoulder and she had a suitcase in her hand.

“Oh darling.” Serena took the case from Bernie’s grasp and placed it inside the hallway before pulling her into the house, closing the door behind her, and wrapping her arms around her tightly.

Bernie’s sobs shook her body so hard she could barely get her breath. She tried to speak but she ended up coughing on her own ragged intakes of breath.

“Don’t speak, it’s okay.” Serena rubbed her back, trying not to let her own tears fall as her heart ached at Bernie’s anguish.

Dropping her rucksack next to her suitcase, Serena led Bernie up the stairs and into her room. She helped Bernie out of her shoes, jeans and shirt, and pulled one of her old oversized Harvard t-shirts over Bernie’s head, before guiding her into bed. Serena quickly changed into a short, black nightdress before joining Bernie, pulling her into her arms once again.

“He told the kids… in front of me…” Bernie’s words came out in between sobs as she nestled her head into Serena’s shoulder. “Then he chucked me out… they didn’t say anything… they just… stared.”

Serena placed soft kissed into Bernie’s hair, grateful Bernie couldn’t see the tears that now silently slid down her face.

“I’m such a disappointment…. I’ve never been there for me… and now… now they hate me.” Bernie cried.

Serena heard a soft knock on her bedroom door. They’d woken Jason.

“Is everything okay aunty Serena?” Jason’s concerned voice came through the door.

“Yes, Jason, don’t worry. We’re okay.” Serena reassured him.

She watched as the corridor light went out and she heard his bedroom door close.

“Listen to me, Bernie Wolfe,” Serena gently shifted so that Bernie was looking at her, “You are not a disappointment. You have raised two wonderful, talented children. They will come around to this. This is not the end of your relationship with them."

Bernie’s fingers reached out and wiped Serena’s tears away, her own tears still falling but her breath settling a little.

“I love you, Bernie. We’ll get through this.” Serena reassured her, wrapping her arms around her again. It felt so good to tell her she loved her. The rightest three words she had ever spoken, to the rightest person she could ever speak them to.

Bernie’s head lay back down on the space between Serena’s neck and her shoulder. “I love you too, Serena.” she whispered.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all your comments and kudos. This chapter is a bit PWP to be honest, but it does have some plot at the end, promise! 
> 
> I think this is going to be the penultimate chapter of this story so it is a little short as the next one is going to be pretty long (I think). I've also started on another fic, which I hope you'll all like. :)

**Chapter Fourteen**

Serena let her fingers stroke gently through Bernie’s tousled hair as she watched Bernie sleep beside her. The sun was just starting to rise outside, setting the room in a gentle sort of glow that made Bernie look even more stunning than usual. The skin around Bernie’s eyes was still sore from the tears she had cried last night and into this morning, having drifted in and out of sleep all night, tears slipping from her eyes as she woke and passing as she had dropped back to sleep.

Serena wasn’t exactly if she’d slept for more than an hour or so herself, she had held Bernie in her arms throughout the night, afraid of falling asleep and not being there for Bernie if she needed her. She had heard Jason leave for work an hour or so ago and hoped he was okay after knocking on her bedroom door last night. She’d have to talk to him later, explain what was going on. 

“What are you staring at?” Bernie whispered, her voice thick with sleep and her eyes still closed. A small smile played on her lips.

“You, of course.” Serena replied as she trailed her fingers down the back of Bernie’s neck and came back up to her forehead.

“Hmm… don’t stare too much you might end up not liking what you see.” 

“Not possible. You’re beautiful.” 

Bernie’s eyes fluttered open at Serena’s words, holding her gaze. “Thank you for last night. I shouldn’t have imposed on you—“

“You could never impose. You’re always welcome here. In my home, and in my bed.” Serena smiled.

Bernie returned the smile before Serena captured her lips into a soft, lingering kiss. Before Serena knew what was going on Bernie was on top of her, her tongue battling Serena’s and her fingers travelling down Serena’s body.

“Bernie,” Serena gasped as Bernie’s kisses moved from her lips to her neck, to her shoulder blades and lower. 

Bernie raised her lips from Serena’s chest, her kisses having just reached the edge of her nightdress and her fingers having started to slide over Serena’s thighs and up underneath the soft cotton. “I want to show you how much I love you.” Bernie’s eyes met Serena’s and she held her gaze for a second, her pupils dark with desire, before she placed a hot kiss over the top of Serena’s nightdress and pulled an already hard nipple into her mouth through the thin fabric.

Serena felt her back arch as she pushed her breasts closer up to Bernie’s mouth. She could already feel her knickers soaked with want and her heart racing in her chest.

Bernie’s fingers were now teasing the edges of Serena’s knickers, hooking inside to slowly tug them down. Serena bucked her hips but it made Bernie’s movements no quicker, she was taking her sweet time and Serena was going to have to be patient, whether she liked it or not.

Bernie’s mouth repeated the same movement on Serena’s other breast before she slid down Serena’s body to finally pull her knickers down her pale thighs, past her knees, and calves and then onto the bedroom floor. 

Bernie’s hands pushed Serena’s nightdress up to her waist as she leant into place kisses across the inside of Serena’s thighs and then her hips and stomach. Serena could feel her clit pulsating in apprehension of contact that didn’t seem to be coming, Bernie’s mouth was everywhere but Serena wanted her the most. 

Serena let out a frustrated moan, her whole body on fire beneath Bernie’s delicate fingers and searing kisses. “Fuck, Bernie. I need your mouth on me.” Serena could feel her body starting to tremble.

Bernie pushed Serena’s nightdress up and over her head before taking one of her nipples back in her mouth. Serena cried out at how sensitive she was. 

“Like this?” Bernie asked innocently before reacting the action on her other breast.

“Lower, pl-please.” Serena was losing the ability to speak as Bernie’s fingers trailed across her thighs.

Bernie placed a kiss on Serena’s belly button. “Here?”

“No.” She growled. 

Bernie came up to Serena’s ear, pressing her body against her. “Tell me.”  

“I want your tongue inside me, Bernie. I want your mouth on my cunt.” Serena pleaded.  

Bernie grinned at her, obviously receiving the reaction she wanted. She rolled them so that Serena was on top and straddling Bernie’s waist. 

Serena felt Bernie’s hands on her arse, pushing her further up Bernie’s body until her knees rested on either side of Bernie’s head. Within seconds Bernie’s tongue was pushed deep inside of her, Bernie’s hands on her hips and pulling her closer into her, encouraging Serena to ride her mouth.

Serena’s hands flew out to steady herself, gripping onto the headboard. Her cries were high-pitched and loud, reverberating through her chest as she flung her head back, eyes closed in ecstasy. She felt Bernie hum beneath her in appreciation of her reaction.

Bernie’s tongue was deep, probing and deliciously tortuous, moving and lingering in all the right places. Soon Bernie’s lips were sucking gently as Serena’s clit and Serena felt her orgasm start to take over. She looked down, eager to see Bernie’s face as she came. The sight of Bernie staring up at her sent a jolt of desire shooing through Serena’s body. With a last flick of Bernie’s tongue, Serena’s release crashed over her, a shuddering moan escaping her lips as her grip on the headboard tightened.

Serena's body shook as she moved to lay at Bernie’s side. 

Bernie looked at Serena with a satisfied smile on her lips. “You make the most glorious sounds when you cum.”

Serena leaned in and kissed her deeply, tasting herself on Bernie’s lips. “Not half as glorious as you do.” she whispered between kisses, wasting no time in ridding Bernie of her borrowed Harvard t-shirt.

Feeling Bernie’s bare torso against hers sent shivers across Serena’s skin, moving to lay between Bernie's legs and pressed up close against her to feel Bernies heart beat fast against her. Serena rolled her hips, appreciating the small gasp that left Bernie’s lips at the contact. She could feel how wet Bernie was against her bare thigh and rid her of her boxer shorts before capturing her lips again.

Serena slid a finger into Bernie slowly, curling and dragging it out before sliding back in. Bernie’s hands slid around Serena’s back, her short fingernails digging into her skin as one finger became two and Serena increased her pace. 

Bernie’s legs fell apart further as two fingers became three and she whimpered at the stretch. Serena’s eyes met hers, wanting to make sure she was alright, the combination of vulnerability and deep lust she saw in Bernie’s eyes made her insides clench.

“More.” Bernie urged and three fingers became four, Bernie’s hips coming to meet Serena’s fingers on each thrust.

Sweat begin to glisten on Bernie’s body, her head back against the pillow and her throat exposed as Serena’s placed kisses across her neck. Serena could feel Bernie tighten against her fingers, her pace unrelenting as she fucked Bernie harder and faster, egged on by the mewls that broke free of Bernie’s body as her release hit her.

Serena felt Bernie’s fingernails release from her back as Bernie’s body began to relax beneath her. Serena wrapped her arms tightly around Bernie as she felt Bernie’s breath shudder and knew more tears weren’t far away, last night’s memories returning and still raw. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Serena pressed a kiss into Bernie’s hair. “I’ve got you.” 

 

* * *

  
Serena could sense the whispers and eyes focused on them from the moment they left Bernie’s car in the hospital car park. Jason had been right - it was obvious that every single member of staff knew what had happened yesterday, even the women behind the counter in Pulses looked at the both like she had an opinion on the situation that she was very tempted to share. Serena was glad the woman had made their coffees in silence - it wouldn’t be good for Pulses profits or Serena’s caffeine addiction to destroy that relationship. 

As soon as they both arrived on AAU, Raf was rushing over. “Mr Hanssen wants to see you both, now.” 

“Oh for god’s sake.” Serena rolled her eyes, almost certain that Henrik would want to speak to them about yesterday. She dumped her coat, bag and coffee in the office and Bernie did the same.

“What do you think he’ll say?’ Bernie asked as they got into the elevator to go up to Hanssen’s office.

Serena reached out and lightly squeezed Bernie’s hand, “Nothing we can’t deal with.” She replied with a reassuring smile, trying to hide the anxiety she felt at what was awaiting them. Just how far was Marcus going to take this?

Bernie didn’t return the smile, her concern evident as she clenched her jaw and shifted uncomfortably on her heels as the lift took them up. Serena kept hold of her Bernie’s hand until the lift pinged to announce they had arrived and they both silently headed to Hanssen’s office.

“Ms Campbell, Ms Wolfe.” Hanssen nodded his welcome to the women as they reached his open office door. “Come in.”

Serena felt a small wave of relief that Marcus was nowhere to be seen. They both stood opposite Hanssen’s desk. 

“I’m not going to dance around this,” Hanssen didn’t waste time in getting straight to the point. “You’re two of my best consultants, if not _the_ best and AAU is a credit to the entire hospital, but whatever has occurred between you both and Mr Dunn is completely unacceptable. I’m sure you’re aware that people come to AAU to be treated not to be witness to the private lives of the hospital staff. I spoke to Mr Dunn last night and we agreed the best course of action would be for him to return to St James and end his time at Holby with immediate effect.”

Serena could hear her heart beating loudly in her ears as she tried to remain calm.

“He was very close to making an official complaint to the GMC but I managed to talk him out of it. I told him I would deal with this internally.”

“And what does that mean for us?” Serena asked.

“Nothing.” Hanssen replied. “I don’t believe you intended this to become hospital business, and I know the hospital rumour mill well enough to know that the repercussions of that are painful enough on their own, let alone the complications of a new relationship and a divorce. I would however ask that you be mindful of your positions in this hospital and not to let your relationship infringe on your duties here.”

Serena nodded, relieved. She could see Bernie nodding her understanding too.

“That’s all.” He spoke. 

Bernie opened the office door, walking out into the corridor and holding the door open for Serena to follow. 

“Serena?” Hansen spoke.

Serena paused, her hand on the door.

“I do wish you’d told me when I mentioned Mr Dunn to you before. If you thought him being here was going to cause issues I could have asked another consultant from St James,” he paused, removing his glasses and placing them on the desk, "We’ve known each other long enough for you to know you can talk to me, in confidence about things, even matters of the heart, yes?”

Serena nodded, “Thank you, Henrik.”


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter! It turns out writing last chapters is the most difficult thing ever. I've dithered so much over this hence why it's taken me ages to post. But here we go.
> 
> Seriously, thank you so much for reading and all of your lovely comments. You've really made me smile. I hope you've enjoyed reading this story.

It was a Sunday afternoon, a rare occasion that Serena and Bernie both had a day off together. Serena lay back against the sofa, Bernie resting against her, wrapped in her arms. The TV was on softly in the corner but neither were watching it. 

Bernie’s head rested on Serena’s chest, their breaths rising and falling in unison. “Has anyone told you what an outstanding heartbeat you have?” she whispered.

Serena smiled, playing with Bernie’s hair, slowly letting the golden curls fall through her fingers. 

“Low rate, no irregularities, strong and clear beat.” Bernie Wolfe - ever the doctor. 

“Must be all that cardiovascular exercise you’ve been instigating, keeping me fit.” Serena smirked. 

Bernie looked at her and gave a small smile. 

Serena had noticed over the last few days that the light had disappeared from Bernie’s eyes a little, it made her heart twinge with sadness that things had turned out like they had. The situation with Marcus and the kids had obviously taken its toll - Serena couldn’t remember the last proper meal Bernie had eaten and she was awake most nights, pacing the house. 

Bernie placed her head back down on Serena’s chest, wrapping her arms around her a little tighter.

“I think you should call them.” She pressed a kiss into Bernie’s hair.

Bernie was silent.

“You can’t continue like this, Bernie, beating yourself up over what’s happened. Your children love you. They will want you in their lives.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Did they tell you otherwise?”

There was a pause, then Bernie replied. “No.”

“Call them.”

“And say what?”

“Meet them for a coffee, away from Marcus. Tell them everything, be completely honest about who you are.” Serena felt like she was treading on egg shells, unsure if Bernie would push her away for suggesting such a thing. Serena knew she couldn’t truly relate, Ellie had been so small when she and Edward had got divorced, but she wanted to help.

“What if they say no?”

“Well then you’re in a no worse a position than you are now, hm?” Serena sat up, forcing Bernie to do the same and grabbed Bernie’s phone from the coffee table. “I can go and make us a coffee while you ring them if you like?” 

“No, no. Stay.” Bernie took Serena’s hand and entwined their fingers, taking the mobile phone in her other.

There was a moment’s silence as Bernie stared at the device in her hand, formulating what she was going to stay, before she started to dial Cameron’s number. She raised the phone to her ear and Serena heard as it rang once, twice, three times. She prayed Cameron would answer. 

“Cameron, it’s mum," Bernie voice shook a little and her grip on Serena’s hand increased, "How are you?… Would you and Lottie would have a coffee with me sometimes this week… I want to talk properly… I know… I can explain everything." Bernie glanced over at Serena, her eyes showing her nervousness. 

Serena gave her a reassuring smile.

“… Wednesday?… yes, of course… 10am would be great.” Suddenly a smile appeared on Bernie’s lips, “See you both then.” She hung up the phone before engulfing Serena in a hug.

* * *

 

Bernie had agreed to meet Cameron and Charlotte in Pulses, making it easy for her to slip out from AAU for a little while during shift. She had been nervous all morning, had dithered over what to wear, had broken a plate in the kitchen whilst washing up. Serena had offered to drive them into work and had taken an emergency surgery that had come in just as they had arrived, not wanting to place any pressure on Bernie to focus her attention away from the conversation she was clearly formulating in her mind.

Now, with Serena just out of surgery, Bernie sat in the chair in their office, tapping her foot on the floor as she watched the time on the wall clock near closer and closer to 10am. Her phone beeped loudly in the silent office, making both women jump. 

Bernie glanced at the screen. “Lottie isn’t coming.” 

“But Cameron still is?”

She nodded. “He’s on his way now.” The disappointment was evident in Bernie’s face. 

“Charlotte might just take a little more time to get used to the idea.”

“Will you come with me?” Bernie’s voice sounded a little panicked. 

“To meet Cameron?”

“Yes.”

Serena wanted to be there for Bernie as much as she could but she knew deep down this was something Bernie and Cameron needed to do together. “I think it’d be best if it’s just you two. My being there would just complicate things."

“Okay.” Bernie’s gaze fell to the floor. 

Serena got out of her chair and went over to Bernie’s, resting against the desk and taking Bernie’s hands in hers, pulling her gently to her feet. “Just be honest with him, darling. All he will want is to hear the truth.” She reached out and tucked a strand of Bernie’s hair behind her ear before placing a soft kiss on her lips. 

Bernie deepened the kiss, stepping closer into Serena. Her hands slipped around Serena’s waist.

The sound of a knock on the office door made both women jump apart and Fletch poked his head around the door, “Er, Ms Campbell, could I get your opinion on the patient in bay 6? His BP is a little high.” 

Serena nodded, “I’ll be right there.” She turned to Bernie, giving her hand a quick squeeze. “Good luck.” 

* * *

 

Time passed slowly over the next hour and Serena had lost track of how many times she had checked the clock and wondered how Bernie was getting on. She was relieved when eventually she looked up from her computer and saw Bernie heading into the office, with a young man at her side.

“Serena, this is Cameron. Cameron, Serena.” Bernie introduced them, the smile on her face an indication that things had gone well between them. 

Serena rose from her seat and shook Cameron’s hand, “Nice to meet you, Cameron.”

He smiled at her. He had Bernie’s kind eyes and messy hair that occasionally fell over his eyes. 

“Nice to meet you too. Sorry Charlotte isn’t here, she’s still getting her head around things. She will come round though,” Cameron looked over at Bernie, “it’ll be alright."

Serena felt her heart swell a little that Cameron was so aware of Bernie’s fragility and wanted to reassure her. 

“Cameron is training to be a doctor. I said maybe if you had time you could give him a tour of AAU?” Bernie asked. “You know it better than me.”

Serena knew Bernie was more than capable of showing her son around the ward, could do it backwards with her eyes closed, but this was Serena’s chance to get to know Cameron and she was thankful for it. "We’ve just had a new 3D pre-operative planning machine delivered, fancy taking a look?”

He nodded, “Sure.”

Serena led Cameron out of the office and through the ward, into one of the nearby operating theatres, leaving Bernie in the office. “Unfortunately a lot of the really interesting machines are up on Keller, but this isn’t bad for AAU—"

“Ms Campbell.”

Serena stopped in the middle of the theatre, turning back from the 3D machine to look at Cameron. “Please call me Serena.” She smiled but she felt nerves flutter in her stomach. 

“Serena…” Cameron corrected himself, “will you take care of mum?” He shifted awkwardly on his heels, unable to meet Serena’s eye. He was just like his mum.

“Of course I will.” She frowned a little at the suggestion of anything other.

“It’s just… she’s not the easiest person to deal with. She’s stubborn, she’s messy, she—“

“Cameron, I love your mother. She’s in good hands, I promise you.”

He smiled at her.  “I trust you.” 

She let out a small breath of relief, not realising how tense she had been.

“What were you saying about the 3D machine?”

Serena grinned. 

* * *

 

That evening Serena made Bernie and Jason a roast dinner big enough to feed a small village. Serena had invited Cameron over but he said he’d promised to see Marcus that night, though he would come over for Sunday lunch one weekend. She noted that the tension in Bernie’s shoulders had lifted since Cameron’s visit to the hospital that morning and she was relieved to see Bernie eat a proper meal again.

They eventually all collapsed in the living room, stomachs full and tiredness settling in. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you for what you’ve done for Cameron and I.” Bernie spoke as they sat at either end of the small sofa, legs entwined and glasses of wine in hand. Bernie had the local newspaper resting on her knees, her rarely-worn but admittedly necessary reading glasses perched on the end of her nose.

“Mmm I can think of some ways you can try.” Serena replied suggestively. She glanced over at Jason, who was sat in the armchair watching a programme on life in 18th century London. He looked engrossed in the programme, a cup of hot chocolate between his hands and a small pile of chocolate digestives on the arm of the chair. 

Bernie smirked as a small blush rose on her cheeks. 

“What are you looking at?” Serena tilted her head to the newspaper.

“Places to live.”

“Oh.” Serena felt her heart sink. They hadn't discussed Bernie’s living situation since Bernie had turned up on her doorstep last week after Marcus had asked her to move out. Serena had assumed Bernie would stay with her and Jason now although in hindsight Serena chastised herself for being so naive. So much had happened that had led them to this point, they had both risked so much and together faced a multitude of adversity over the last few months, Serena didn’t want to lose what they shared together now. 

"There’s a flat come up for rent just around the corner, 1 bed, £650 a month.”

“£650? Is it made of gold?” Serena asked, eyebrows raised at the cost. 

Bernie chuckled. “Renting is a little more expensive than I remember it in the '80s.” 

“It doesn’t make sense.” Jason spoke up, both women turning their attention to him. “Why pay to live around the corner when you’re living here for free? Why would you want to live on your own when you can live with aunty Serena?”

“Jason.” Serena’s tone was slightly warning, although she was grateful to him for asking the questions she wasn’t brave enough to ask.

“Aren’t you happy here, Dr Bernie?” Jason persisted.

Bernie paused, playing with an edge of the newspaper. “Yes, Jason, I am happy here.” Her eyes met with Serena’s and they shared a small smile, both uncertain of where the conversation was going.

“Then why are you moving out?” Jason asked.

Bernie’s eyes didn’t leave Serena’s as she spoke, "I don’t want to put pressure on you, Serena… to put pressure on us.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Serena replied, taking Jason’s lead on just getting straight to the point, despite her heart beating wildly in her chest with apprehension. 

“Do you _want_ to move out, Dr Bernie?” Jason dunked a biscuit in his hot chocolate, nonchalant about the conversation and seemingly unaware at what a momentous decision was being made between the three of them. 

“No, I don’t.” Bernie replied, looking over at Jason, “What do you think about that, Jason?”

Serena felt a smile creep across her lips at Bernie’s words, her heart soaring. 

“I think that makes sense,” he agreed, "and aunty Serena is much happier when you’re here. Can we get back to watching the television now? If you two keep talking over it I won’t find out what happens.”

“Sorry, Jason.” Serena apologised. 

Bernie placed the newspaper on the coffee table, any plans to move out now discarded. She reached out to interweave her fingers with Serena, “I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you.” Serena whispered back, unable to stop the smile on her lips. She felt like her heart was singing and it was singing the most beautiful words she had ever heard - Berenice Griselda Wolfe.

_ Fin. _


End file.
